


The things we do for love

by LadyA87



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Future Fic, Post - A Dance With Dragons, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-21
Packaged: 2018-04-19 01:17:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4727318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyA87/pseuds/LadyA87
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The war was over, Daenerys sits on the Iron Throne. Jaime and Brienne are in King's Landing, the Dragon Queen has spared the kingslayer's life, but with conditions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone, this is my very first attempt of writing a fan fiction. I've read lots of J/B ff, i love these two characters, they have such great chemistry, in the books and in the show.  
> I wanted to write a ff with angst but also fluffiness and where Jaime sacrifice himself and his own feelings for Brienne to make her happy.  
> I apologize for every future grammar mystakes, I'm italian, so english is not my mother language, and I have no beta.
> 
> I'm very nervous about publish this, I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> Comments, good or bad, are always welcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The parts in italic are flashbacks

 

**The things we do for love**

**Chapter 1**

 

The war was over at last, the Dragon Queen sits on the Iron Throne, the Long Night has come and passed, Westeros had frozen in the Darkness but Daenerys’ dragons brought the light back again with fire and blood.

After two years from the end of the Long Night, Jaime Lannister surprisingly still have his head attached to his body, the Dragon Queen decided to spare his life after the years he spent fighting every creature from beyond the wall, with Brienne always at his side.

Though he was still alive, he was no longer in Kingsguard, now Queensguard, was no longer a knight, have no lands or money, he was just Jaime Lannister, a maimed golden lion, but a lion nonetheless.

 

Everyone thought that the queen had been too good with the Kingslayer, but no one knew that he had to give up the only thing that matter to him.

 

Jaime Lannister was watching her sparring in the training yard. He loved watch her fight, because she looked young and naïve again, without all the scars, physical and not, that the war and him have brought on her, she looked happy. With a sword in her hand she was again the warrior maiden that he had met at the beginning, light as a feather, agile like a gazelle, strong and noble like a lioness.

His mind went at the end of the war, when he woke up after being almost killed by a White Walker.

 

_“He woke up and saw her blue eyes shining with tears in the room warmed by the sun after so much time._

_He thought that he must have been dead and the Gods had sent him to Heaven by mistake, because there was no chance that that was hell. Then he realized every inch of his body ached and knew that he was alive, and thanks the Gods so was she._

_With a raspy and feeble voice he said “I guess that we won, and I’ve missed all the celebrations” Brienne burst to tears at the sound of his voice, he was awake, finally._

_“You are not going to get rid of me that easily wench, I might be an old lion, but my skin is thick”,  she laughed at that, tears falling  on her cheek. She took his hand and brought it to her mouth to kiss it, her lips were so soft and warm, her hands so gentle, Jaime rejoiced at the touch, he had dreamed of her in his unconscious state, her blue eyes, her freckles never left his mind, there were the lights that brought him back._

_As soon as she realized  what she was doing she dropped his hand, turning red, and make to speak,_

_“You shouldn’t have risked your life to save mine, it’s a miracle that you’ve made it.” Worry and scold in her voice._

_He remembered  what happened, Brienne was fighting against a white walker when an another from the back was about to kill her, she was too busy fighting for notice it, the moment he saw the white walkers go toward Brienne he jump in front of it and took the blow at her place._

_“Is that your way to say thank you for have saved you life, wench?” Jaime said, a grin on his face,_

_“No, her way to thank you has been took care of you and never left your side  for a week, without rest, almost without eating, and refusing to meet the Queen until your awakening. I’m surprised that she still stands.” Tyrion said, entering the room._

_Jaime and his brother were still at odds, Tyrion had been visiting him for few moments every day since his arrival on the back of a dragon, Brienne knew he cared for Jaime, as Jaime cared for him, but also knew that Lannisters were proud beasts._

_Tyrion was puzzled by Brienne, he had heard the stories of the Kingslayer’s and his whore, the Maid of Tarth, and thought that was about bloody time that Jaime moved on from Cersei, but couldn’t really believe it. Then he met Brienne, she was not what he had imagined her to be, not just the looks, she was the hero of Jaime’s childhood, the knight he couldn’t become, but most of all she was loyal, honest and pure. The way she took care of Jaime, was touching, she washed him, brushed his hair, trimmed his beard, talked to him. After a week spent taking care of him, Brienne looked like the one who had been dying, not Jaime. Tyrion knew his brother, and knew that if there was a man capable of love someone like Brienne it was him, because Jaime loved beyond prejudices and hope. But he was afraid that Jaime would never get rid of Cersei. He was curious to finally see him with Brienne, and what saw in Jaime’s eyes give him hope._

_Jaime watched her close, she had dark rings under her eyes and was paler than the usual, “Gods she looks like a ghost”, he thought, then said to her “why don’t you go to get some well-deserved rest Brienne, you should not have vigil me for all this time. Thank you”, and then he gave her the sweetest smile she had ever seen._

_She blushed, his eyes boring into her, green and sincere, then she said, without look him in the eyes,_

_“I….I couldn’t stay away, the maesters were all busy, there are so many wounded,  I couldn’t let you alone”, he smiled and said “What will I do without my wench?” his eyes never left her, his tone was honest,_

_she smiled, then she stood and left saying “I will go rest and leave you two alone”._

_It was the first time after years that he and Tyrion were alone in a room, as a matter of fact, was the first time they see each other after Jaime released him from the dungeons._

_Tyrion spoke first “she is a remarkable lady, your wench, dear brother, I was surprised to see that you have such a honourable and loyal lady as your friend, I’ve heard many tales on the Kingslayer’s whore”,_

_Jaime flinched at that name, ”Brienne is no whore!!”_

_“I know, I’ve seen the lady, the last thing you could call her is whore. I knew she wasn’t fair looking, but I’ve never imagined her to be that ugly. Still, as our sweet sister often said, you have a thing for the freak like me. What surprise me more is how is possible that you, the Kingslayer, have inspired such loyalty and friendship from the more than honourable Brienne of Tarth?”_

_“Well, maybe she has a soft spot for an old maimed lion” Jaime said._

_Tyrion laughed “I will leave you to rest, it’s good to see you, has been awhile”,_

_“Yes, it’s good to see you too, Tyrion.”_

“So, has Lord Selwyn found another betrothed to our maid?” Jaime was startled,  he didn’t  notice Tyrion was there.

After the war ended Brienne decided to follow Jaime to King’s Landing, she wanted to plead his case to the Queen and be with him for the trial. When Jaime’s life was spared she knew she should have gone back home, to her father, to her duty, but the Queen asked her to teach to every woman who want it, how to fight, and she was so happy, she had an excuse to stay with him and also practicing and teaching to other women who wanted to do more than just embroider and chatting and become some man wife’s.

She came back to Tarth to visit her Father, since than Lord Selwyn tried to betroth Brienne to some minor lord, to a castellan even to a hedge knight, she always refused, she couldn’t abide the thought of being married to a man who claimed her just for her land, for a title. She knew that one day she’ll have to say yes, it was her duty, but for now she didn’t want to think about it.

Every time a letter arrived from Tarth Jaime run to her, mockingly asking who was the lucky husband to be, the future Lord of Tarth.

In truth he run because he was afraid that one day she will say yes and he couldn’t stand the thought of losing her, and could not even think of her as some other man’s wife. 

“Not lately, perhaps he has finally given up”, Jaime said, a fake grin on his, that gives away his real thoughts to the ones who knew him well.

Tyrion changed the subject “So who won this morning sparring? I was _delightfully_ busy in a meeting with the small council”,

 Jaime grinned saying “Must have been fun”,

“Oh yes, I’m always mesmerized by the level of ass-licking the human kind can reach.”

Tyrion look his brother “So?? Don’t tell me you won? I had my money on Brienne, no offense, but I like to bet on the winning horse”,

 

“Not taken, and don’t worry she won” said Jaime,

 

“Good girl”, said Tyrion winking at him.

 

Jaime became really good with his left hand, but Brienne became incredible, she was the Warrior personified, and Jaime couldn’t be more proud of her. They practiced every morning, their sparring became so famous that a crowd always gathered around the training yard, and bets were placed, so they decided to spar in a clearing not that far from the Red Keep, but once or twice a week Jaime wanted to give a show and staying in the training yard.

More than once he won, but Brienne won most of the times, she has such a grace when wielding a sword, they dance until were exhausted. Those were the moments where he was happy, was alive and he wanted their dance to never end.

 

They were joined by Brienne, red in the face and sweat “Jaime, lord Tyrion” she greeted them,

 

“Oh, my Lady, you wound me; I thought we were friends, what are all these formalities?”

 

Tyrion loved make the maid blush as much as Jaime did,

 

“I-I’m sorry my Lord…hem Tyrion, it’s an habit”,  the Lannisters brothers laughed mischievously, Brienne was now accustomed to Tyrion’s sharp tongue, he could make even Jaime blush, but was true that he had asked her to call him Tyrion when out of court, and he looked genuinely offended, but she should have known better by now, and then laughed with the brothers.

 

To the eyes of a stranger they were a weird trio, a giant woman; an handsome knight and a dwarf, but for the inhabitants of the Keep was a well-known sight. The three of them often walk together around the Keep, talking and laughing, once a week the two brothers dine together and Brienne was always one of them, was thank to her that they had make peace. She forced them to talk to each other, she did it for Jaime, knowing how much he loved his little brother, how guilty he felt about everything that has happened.

 

Despite the odd pair that they formed, Brienne and Tyrion became good friend, they understand each other and knew better that anybody else how words can hurt and how difficult it is to be different, ugly and scarred.

 

 “So, _my dear lady_ , would you be so kind and delight us with your presence joining us for dinner in my chambers?”

 

“It will be an honor, _my Lord”_ ,

 

“Good, now I have to go, important matters await me.  Ah….the hard life on the Hand of the Queen”, he was probably gone at his favourite brothel.

 

Jaime and Brienne keep walking through the yard, Jaime noted that Brienne was quiet, quieter than the usual,

 

“Wench, I know you are not very loquacious, but today you seem awfully quiet, so, pray tell me, there something wrong?”.

 

“No, I was just thinking of my father, of Tarth, he wrote me, he is getting old”,

 

“You missed him, it’s natural, has he found you another suitor?” He impatiently wait for her to answer “Brienne?? “ he shout, fearing her answer,

 

“No, no he didn’t”, she lied,

 

Jaime’s face brighten up, he could breathe again, “Well, you should go visit him again, the Queen won’t denied it” and added to himself  “maybe she’ll even allow me to escort you”.

 

“Yes, I’ll think about it, now I need a bath, I’ll see you later”.

 

She had received a proposal, and for the first time she was thinking of accepting it, but she didn’t know how to tell Jaime, and worst of all she didn’t know how to live without him.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A trial by combat and a sparring session. Cersei make her appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to publish the second chapter, so you might get a more complete idea of my story. I will publish the third nex week.
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it.
> 
> I own nothing.

 

**Chapter 2**

 

_“Brienne was pacing back and forth,  driving Tyrion crazy,_

_“Would you please stop pacing??” Tyrion said to her, irritated, “Whether you walk or you stand still her decision it’s not going to change”_

_“Aren’t you worried?? He’s your brother, do you really not care about what’s going to happen to him??”, Brienne asked him, she knew Tyrion and Jaime had been close and knew the reasons of their distance now, Jaime had confessed her one night on the Wall._

_Tyrion remained silent, he did care for Jaime, but the pain and the hurt were still there._

_Daenerys had dismissed everyone from the Great Hall but Jaime, she had to decide his fate. Brienne had plead the Dragon Queen, had met her in private and told  her about Aerys, she also remembered her how important Jaime had been during the war and even asked her to allowed him a trial by combat, with her as his champion._

_Brienne stopped at the sight of a free Jaime walking towards them, his face was a mix of sadness and happiness, she asked what happened,_

_“Well it seems our beloved Queen found my charm too good to waste it adorning a spike”,_

_Brienne went to hug him, he would live she thought. Both the brothers were surprised by her gesture, Brienne was always so shy. Jaime hugged her closer, breathing her, his eyes went sadder in that moment._

_“I know women can’t resist your pretty face, dear brother, but she must have gave you some kind of punishment, otherwise she would appeared weak” Tyrion said,_

_Suddenly Brienne awkwardly let go of him, even her freckles were blushing._

_“Don’t worry, brother, she took from me everything she could think of. I’m of course no longer Lord Commander, I lost every right to Casterly Rock, not that I would ever want to claim them, and I’m no longer a knight and I…..” he paused, watching Brienne carefully, his eyes full of regrets,  “I’m just Jaime Lannister, member of the city watch, I’ll have to serve the Queen and the city. And of course the truth about Aerys must remain a secret, or else I will lose my pretty head” ._

_Brienne and Tyrion were both astonished; they never dared to hope in such good turn of the events._

_With an awkwardness unusual of him, Tyrion said to Jaime. “I’m….ehm…happy for you…brother….I mean it”,_

_“I know” said Jaime,  and the Imp left them alone._

_Brienne spoke first, her face give away her happiness, she looks like a little girl  who had just had the best gift of her life, “I’m so happy for you, I know it must be difficult have to give up to everything, but you’ll live, that’s the most important thing, Ser”,_

_“I’m not a knight anymore, wench” Jaime said, his voice flat,_

_“To me you will always be Ser Jaime, the bravest knight I have ever met”, said Brienne, tears filled her eyes._

_Jaime emerald eyes cut into her blue sapphires eyes, he raised his hand to touch her scarred cheek, swallowed and said “that’s all that matter to me, to be a knight in your eyes”,_

_they looked in each other eyes for few more moments and then he looked away, “So now that you ensured my head stays on my neck, what will you do, wench?”, he said trying to keep his voice aloof,_

_“I guess I should go home to my father, Tarth still needs an heir”,_

_he flinched at those words, ”I see, you’re going to hang up your sword to bear child and embroider cushions?” She dreads  the thought, but she had a duty to fill._

_“The queen told me she has offered you a spot in the court, a sort of mistress-at-arms for women who wish to fight, or at least been able to protect themselves”_

_“ Yes, Her Grace was kind to ask, and I’m tempted to accept, it would be an honor, but…..”_

_“you have your bloody duty”, Jaime finished it for her._

_She didn’t know what to do, teaching women how to fight was like a dream, but her father wasn’t getting any younger, Tarth still needs effort to rebuild, but the thought of marry a man who would bed her like a cow, too disgust by her ugly scarred face, it was frightful and disgusting. But the worst thing was having to leave Jaime._

_They remain quiet for a while, walking side by side, “What do you think I should do?” Brienne asked Jaime,_

_“Stay”, and so she did._

Brienne was going to the stable to take her horse,  Jaime was waiting her to the clearing for their morning sparring session,

“Look who we have here, Jaime’s pet” said maliciously  Cersei Lannister.

“Good morning, Cersei” said Brienne, her voice visibly annoyed by the encounter

Cersei had survived two trials by combat, she had nine lives, like cats.

_“When Ser Robert Strong won her trial with the Faith, she stayed at the Keep, but when Daenerys with her army and her dragons approached, she fled to the Rock with Tommen and stayed there until the Dragon Queen came and arrested her._

_The day after Jaime’s trial, Cersei stood in the Great Hall for her own trial._

_Jaime step forward, “Your Grace I beg you to spare my sister’s life. I’m the one to blame for all that happened. Let her live or at least allow her a trial by combat”._

_Hearing Jaime’s plead for his twin sister and former lover was like a stab in Brienne’s chest. She knew he could never forget Cersei, he could never stop loving her, no matter how mean and petty she were, and how sick and wrong their relationship was._

_“We all know how much you care for your sister” said the young Queen, maliciously, and all the room rose with whispers. “I’ll allow your beloved sister a trial by combat”._

_Brienne, understanding Jaime’s intentions to be Cersei’s champion, immediately stood forward “I will be her champion, Your Grace”,_

_“NO” shouted Jaime and looked Brienne in the eyes with an expression that she couldn’t quite read, anger mixed with worry. “I’ll be her champion, I asked you to spare her life, so I must fight for it”._

_The Queen spoke “Yes, but Lady Brienne was faster than you, Kingslayer”_

_Daenerys always addressed to him as Kingslayer, and he hated it._

_“But I want to be magnanimous, so let’s Cersei decide who her champion will be”, and looked at Cersei, who stood forward with her usual arrogance, like she was still the Queen, and not a prisoner,_

_“I choose Lady Brienne of Tarth as my champion”, a mean spark in her green, cold eyes._

_Jaime looked at his sister with such rage, that if looks could killed she would already be dead._

_The Queen’s champion was an unsullied, Slag Worm, and the trial will take place the next day._

_That night Jaime entered Brienne’s room, angry with her, “WHY?? Why did you offered to champion her?”_

_Brienne was taken aback, “I did it for you, can’t you see?”,_

_Jaime face darkened even more “I would never asked you to put your life at risk to save her, NEVER.”, “I’m capable to fight my own battles”_

_“I know you can, but I have more chances to win. I couldn’t…..I did it for you……I know how much she means to you”,_

_Jaime gets closer to her “Don’t you dare say that I put your life beneath hers!! She is my sister, I care for her, but you……” He couldn’t continue, he paced through the room, “Please don’t fight tomorrow, let me fight”, it was almost a plead._

_Brienne was now outraged, was he thinking that she couldn’t win?_

_“You know I’m good Jaime, do you think I can’t beat him??”_

_Jaime sighed loudly, he was tired and angry and worried, “Do you really can’t see, can you?? I know how good you are, I know you can win, but I don’t want you to risk your life to save her, I couldn’t stand it if……” His eyes never leaving hers, he touched her scarred cheek, as he always did, other people were disgusted by her scar, he saw in that scar her value, her honor. “Please Brienne”,_

_“Do not worry, Ser, she’ll leave”, said Brienne, distancing herself from him._

_At that Jaime starts walking through the room, hand through his hairs, did she really couldn’t see that he wasn’t worried for Cersei but for her. He would never forgive himself if she died to save his sister, he couldn’t even imagined that. He roared, “Why do you always have to be so stubborn, pigheaded and stupid, damn you wench!!”_

_He took her by the hand, “Come with me”  and walk her to the training yard “Since you are stubborn as ever, better get practice, wench”, and so they spar and then sits in the armory until the first rays of the sun warmed the yard._

_“Better go get some sleep, wench” said Jaime as he stood from the bench, then took her hand and kissed it, keep it near his mouth for longer than it was appropriate._

_During the fight Jaime wasn’t even breathing, he watched her dance, she was a vision, agile, light, her blows precise…she won._

_Brienne stood in the middle on the yard….Jaime’s eyes never leaving her._

_“Well done, wench” he said, approaching her,_

_“I told you I would have win. She is safe, aren’t you happy?”_

_Jaime was happy, but not for Cersei, “Sometimes you really are obtuse, wench”._

 

Brienne reached Jaime, he was sparring with a tree,

“You took your bloody time, wench” he said, visibly irritated by her lateness,

“Sorry, I was detained” said Brienne, he understood that she must have met Cersei, she was always unsettled whenever she met his sister.

He knew how to make her feel better,  “May I have this dance, my lady?”, he said, with his most charming grin,

“I’m no lady, ser” she said, annoyed,

“and I am no Ser, wench”, Cersei must have really pissed her off, thought Jaime.

“Ready to fight?” asked Brienne,

“I was born ready”, and they started their dance, both fiercely, their blows precise, their blades kissed again and again and again.

Jaime was winning, the wench wasn’t fighting at her best, Jaime knew that there was something else that bothered her, she has been upset since last week. He was dying to know what was upsetting her, bur knew better not to ask, Brienne have her own times, he respected it.

Blows after blows he pushed Brienne toward a tree and trapped her, his body pressed against hers, their noses almost touching, he feel her breath on his face, his cock stirred at the proximity of their bodies, he was about to throw the sword away and take her then and there, “ _if only I could_ ”, he thought.

“YIELD” he shouts, so loud that Brienne was almost startled,

 “You wish” was her answer,

“I beat you, wench, yield” Brienne’s eyes looked into his eyes, for a moment they weren’t sparring.

 Jaime watched Brienne’s large mouth, her red sweat face, her freckles seemed even more, her scar gave her a ferocious look, “ _Gods, how could she be so ugly and yet so beautiful_ ” thought Jaime.

For a long time now Jaime didn’t think Brienne ugly, he knew how she looked like, knew she was ugly, unfeminine, too tall and too broad, but every time he looked at her he saw how beautiful she was to him.

Her eyes were a beacon in the darkness, her lips were made to be kissed by him, her scars were a sign of her bravery, her freckles were like stars indicating him the road to happiness and honor.

She was everything to him, and he was so scared of losing her, because losing her meant losing the best part of him.

 

Jaime pressed his body even more on Brienne’s and she finally yield, both fell on the ground, panting, “Too bad we didn’t spar in the yard, I would like to see Tyrion’s face” said Jaime with a grin, they both laughed, and went to rest under the tree.

Jaime rest his head on Brienne’s lap, she was stroking his hair. They were used to be physically closed, at the Wall they sleep together, and not just for warm themselves.

They talked and laughed, as they always used to do after a sparring session, and they were happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted and needed Cersei in the story, so I had to find an excuse for her to be alive. After writhing the chapter I realized that the wounderful SigilBroken had made Brienne be Cersei's champion in her masterpiece "In This Light". I decided to not change that part because I needed a plausible way for Cersei to be alive.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dinner between the Lannister Brothers, some penis humour. An hearted conversatio, we find out Daenerys' conditions, and Cersei is plotting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be busy in the next days so I released the chapter now.  
>  I want it to light the mood putting in it some humour and fun, I hope you 'll like it.
> 
> All comments are welcomed, and please if you notice some recurring grammar mistakes let me know so I can learn and fix them, ;)
> 
> All the characters belong to G.R.R. Martin, I own nothing,
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy

**Chapter 3**

Tyrion and Jaime were sitting in the Hand’s chambers having dinner together,

“How was your day? Is the realm still intact thanks to you?” Jaime asked Tyrion, an amused expression on his face, his little brother was wise but he did loves being in power.

“You know me, I do all the work and the Queen takes all the credit. At least I’m very good at reward myself” said showing his most cocky smiled,

Tyrion never changed in that, tits and wine were always his favourite pastimes, and the brothels and whores of King’s Landing were very happy of that. “I see, the hard life of the Hand of the Queen” said Jaime, he loved his brother and he loved being able again to talk to him like when they were young

“Oh, dear brother, you should have seen her. A girl from the free cities,  she had the longest legs I’ll ever seen. Apart of Brienne’s, of course” and he winked at Jaime

Jaime was trying to picturing his brother with a woman almost tall as Brienne, “How?” he asked his, an amused and quizzical expression give away his thoughts.

“You have no idea the many ways a little man can find to pleasure a woman, the thinks I could teach to you would make you blush so much that you will have the Lannister red all over your face. Plus never heard of the “L” rule?” Tyrion said him, making an L with his thumb and index and turn it upside down.

Jaime was quite puzzled and amused, “What “L” rule?”

“Do I really have to teach you everything about sex?? You are the older brother, for Gods sake. The L rule says that shorter a man is the longest his cock is.” explain Tyrion, Jaime burst in laughs, and Tyrion followed him right after.

When they stopped laughing  Tyrion poured both some wine, “I’m sorry our favourite wench couldn’t join us” Tyrion said,

“She wasn’t feeling well, or at least that it’s what she told me” Jaime’s expression war wary, Tyrion too had noted that the wench was distant lately,

“What do you think, Jaime?”,

Jaime reached for his cup, drunk some wine and said “Brienne has been very weird lately, more quiet than the usual, I have often caught her lost in her thoughts, absent, since she received that letter from Lord Selwyn, I’m afraid she misses him, misses her home”,

“It’s normal that she misses her father, I guess, in normal families,  relatives do miss each other’s presence” Tyrion and Jaime looked each other with a sad smile, they have never missed Tywin’s presence, he never gave them love, especially to Tyrion.

“Do you fear that she will go back to Tarth, for good this time, that she’ll marry some man, have a bunch of fucking tall kids?”

Jaime didn’t answer.

“You, my dear brother, are afraid to lose her. I see that. What I don’t understand is why you do not give her something worth to stay. Two years ago you asked her to stay here and she did, but you knew that it couldn’t have been forever, she will have to face her duty, being her so bloody stubborn about duty and honor.

I know you care for her, Jaime, I just don’t know how much do you care. Enough to forget our beautiful, yet evil sister?  Can you, the man who have loved for years the most beautiful woman of Westeros, being in love with the ugly, too tall, too broad, with too many freckles and a scarred face, Maid of Tarth?”

Tyrion knew his brother was very fond of Brienne, before to know her and see them together, he didn’t thought possible for Jaime to forget Cersei, then he saw the way he behaved around Brienne, the way he spoke to her and of her, the way he looked at her when no one was looking. But still he was unsure if that was love or just fondness and admiration. “Or she is, indeed, too ugly to be loved as a woman, and you see in her just a friend, a brother in arms, your _pet_ , like our sweet sister call her?”.

 

Jaime eyes flashed his brother, “Brienne is nobody’s pet! Mind your words when you speak of her.”

 

Tyrion grinned, “Oh I’m sorry, did your noseless, dwarf brother offended your…..???”

“What is Brienne to you, Jaime?”, that was the question he wanted to ask him, “I’m finding difficult to find a term to describe her in relation to you, and you know how good I’m with words”, said with his smart grin.

 

Jaime’s lips curved in a small and sweet smile “She is everything, the very best part of me”, and then looked away from Tyrion and watch outside the window.

“And then why, by the Gods, you do not marry her?? Everyone with a heart and functioning eyes can see how much she loves you, and I think that the same goes for you”,

Jaime remained quiet, his eyes fixed on the window.

“Sorry, m’lords, I brought your dinner” a young girl, named Mya, came into the room, let the tray on Tyrion’s desk, and leave.

“If you don’t mind, little brother, it seems that I have lost my appetite, enjoy your dinner, I’m going to bed” and he get up and left,

 “We are not done talking” shouted Tyrion from his desk.

Jaime went to his room, his head ached, he hated Tyrion’s ability to read people. He would have married Brienne a long time ago, but he knew he was a dead man walking, knew that as soon the war was over, Daenerys would have his head, and he couldn’t do this to Brienne, marry her knowing she was going to be a widow soon.

When the Queen spare his life, he saw the light in front of him, and it was blue, sapphire blue.

But then the Queen added one last condition, the only think that matter to him, she took it away.

 

In that moment he understood that Daenerys Targaryen was indeed Aerys’ daughter, because she could be cruel as her father.

 

_“Everybody out” demanded the young Queen,_

_Brienne and Tyrion were the last ones still in the room, Tyrion  was trying to take Brienne out the Great Hall,_

_“You too, Lady Brienne”, said the Queen, the maid’s eyes were fixed on Jaime, she mouthed “I’m sorry” and he mouthed “It’s ok”, a sad smile on his face._

_He watched Tyrion walk out Brienne, his eyes never leaving her._

_“Alone at last, Your Grace” said Jaime, his usual grin and arrogance back on his face._

_“Kingslayer, you are accused to have murdered King Aerys Targaryen, to have sired three children with your own twin sister, two of them have claimed the throne with no right. Your bravery at the Wall has been witnessed by thousands of men, who have followed your command. Without you the war might have had a different epilogue. For this reasons, and for the truth that we both know about my father, I will spare your life”._

_Jaime dropped to the floor, he would live,_

_“Of course you will be no longer a knight, you will have no rights on your family lands and gold, or to any future lands you might acquire. And of course no one has to know the truth about my father.”_

_“Yes, took everything, I don’t care about it, the only thing I need, the only thing I want is my wench” Jaime thought._

_He was picturing their life together, sparring in the day, fucking at night. A bunch of tall, blue eyed and witty kids around. At least two boys and two girls. Lots of people say that in front of death they see their entire life passed before their eyes. Jaime, who had just escaped certain death, saw his future life, he was hoping again._

_“There’s one last condition, Kingslayer. You are forbidden to marry and sire other children, you can never leave King’s Landing, and you will serving in the City watch”,_

_Jaime awoke from his dreams, he had dared to hope and lost again, “What will you do to me if I get married, kill me?”_

_“Oh no, I will take away the only thing that is important to you. Don’t think that I do not know of  your attempt to escape at the Wall, and  I  know that was the Lady Brienne who organize it. I will imprison her for high treason, I will invade Tarth If you disobey my orders.”_

_Jaime’s world collapsed again, how stupid he has been to believe that having fought for the right causes would give him some peace, would atone his life of sins._

_The Queen continued “Do you think I’m blind, Kingslayer?  I know love when I see it. You and Lady Brienne love each other, your eyes lighten up whenever she enters a room, whenever you spoke to her. I’m sorry, I am fond of the Maid of Tarth, and I know her value. But when you killed my father, you took everything from me. My family, my home and my life. I know my father deserved it, he was mad, but, because of you and your family, I’ve lost everything. So now you will lose everything.” Daenerys spoke with such coldness and distance._

_Jaime swallowed hard, his strength left him, it was always Aerys, at the end. He lost her, again._

_“I have just one request, Your grace, I beg you not to tell Brienne, or anyone else, this part of my punishment”.  That was the only thing he could do to protect Brienne, if she had known the truth, she would never leave him, she would stay with him until their last breath. He couldn’t be so selfish and deny her a chance to find someone who loved her, create her own life. He couldn’t trap her with him in King’s Landing, no matter how much he wanted to never be part from her._

_“I accept your request. I asked Lady Brienne to form an army of women, to teach them how to fight. She has yet to give me an answer, consider it like a token of good will, I will allow you two to be together for some time more.”_

_The Queen called a guard “You may free him”._

_Jaime walk out the throne room, he watched Brienne pacing nervously, his chest tightened._

_When she asked him what she should do, he selfishly asked her to stay, one day they will part, but not yet._

Cersei was in her chambers,  her maid, May, was helping her dressing. After her trial, Tyrion had forbidden her to go to the Rock, Myrcella and Tommen didn’t want her in Dorne, they were finally making a life, and were happy, she would have ruined everything. Jaime told her to go to the free cities, or where the hell she wanted, he would have provide her the money, he didn’t want her here.  But obviously Cersei being Cersei, couldn’t let go her favourite toy, so decided to stay in King’s Landing, became friend with the ladies of the court. She and the Queen bond over motherhood, Cersei swore she did everything for her children, and Daenerys, having lost a child, understood the feeling.

 

Cersei was giving Brienne a hard time, whenever they meet alone, she would call her “ _Jaime’s beast, Jaime’s pet”,_ when in court, the other ladies always look at her with disgust and mocking. Those were the moments where Brienne would have want to escape the city.

 

Cersei was admiring her perfect imagine in the mirror, “Oh my Lady you are so beautiful “ May said.

 

Cersei smiled, compliments always put her in a good mood, “What did you hear in Tyrion’s room?”,

Cersei didn’t believe her twin brother was in love with such an ugly beast, but knew how important she was for him, and hated Brienne for this, blaming her for her brother’s change, so she sent May to spy on them,

“They were talking about the Lady of Tarth, the hand asked your brother what Brienne was for him”

Cersei turn to face the girl “and what did he said?”

the girl said “he said that she was everything to him”,

Cersei was furious, “What else did they said?”,

The girl was stuttering, obviously afraid, Cersei was livid “Y-y-your brother, Lord Tyrion, he…he...he asked S-Ser Jaime why he did not marry Lady B-Brienne”,

Cersei went by her window, her face even darker, “what did Jaime answered to that?”,

 “He didn’t answer it, he went away”.

Cersei start laughing, a bitter and evil laugh, “OUT”,

May exit the room without a second thought.  

Cersei was furious, how could Jaime feel anything but disgust for that creature. How an ugly, unfeminine, lumbering beast of a woman, was everything to him. How is that possible? You will regret this, dear brother, Cersei thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the "L" rule is a joke about the ralation between height and penis lenght that we have in Italy, I don't know if exist also in US or Uk, I just thought it was funny having Tyrion explain the rule to Jaime


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cersei's trap, Brienne takes a life changing decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for kudoing :)
> 
> As usual I own nothing, all characters belongs to G.R.R. Martin,
> 
> Comments are always welcomed, I hope you'll enjoy it ;)

**Chapter 4**

Brienne was walking through the long corridor where Jaime’s room was, when a young maid dropped the sheets she was carrying. Brienne leaned over to help her collect it from the floor.

“I’m so sorry m’lady, I’m so clumsy sometimes. Please you don’t have to help me”,

Brienne smiled at the girl, who was red in the face “Oh don’t worry, it’s nothing, you are May, right?”

 “Yes, m’lady….and thank you for your help”.

Brienne nod and smiled, then she continue walking until she reached her destination and knocked on Jaime’s door,

“Who is it?” said Jaime, from the other side of the door, with an annoyed tone,

“It’s me, Brienne” she said, thinking that he wasn’t in a very good mood, perhaps she should wait a little longer. No, she had waited long enough.

Jaime opened the thick wooden door, he was wearing a loosen withe tunic and breeches, his long golden hair were damp, he must have just taken a bath,

“ _Oh Gods, how can a person be that handsome, he looks like a god”_ Brienne thought.

“Wench, at what do I own the pleasure?” Then noting that she was staring at him added, “I know how irresistible I am, but could you stop staring at me? You’ll make me blush like a maiden” and he winked at her.

Brienne rolled her eyes at the ceiling and sighed, she knew his cockiness too well. Then she took a long breath and said “I need to talk to you, it’s a delicate matter, so I came to ask you if we could talk after dinner”.

Jaime’s amused expression became serious, “Of course, but why after dinner? We can talk now.”

Brienne had to be present at an official dinner the Queen was giving, “I can’t miss the dinner, the Queen asked for my presence” Jaime nod, Brienne knew he hated those officials dinners were all the lords and ladies competed for the best ass-licking of the Seven Kingdoms.

“After dinner then” Jaime said to her, she nod and went away, Jaime’s eyes following every step, until she was out of sight.

He was about to shut the door when he heard a noise and saw a shadow on the corridor’s wall, “Who is it?” May stood forward “It’s just me, m’lord, I came to bring you clean sheets” Jaime nod and let the maid into his room to change the sheets.

Jaime was on his bed, the fingers of his good hand beating on the mattress, he was nervous, thinking of what the wench wanted to talk to him. A knock on the door, Jaime immediately went to open it, thinking it was Brienne. Instead it was Cersei, he was surprised and annoyed to see his sister at his door.

“What are you doing here, Cersei?”, he asked her, annoyed,

She pushed the door further to enter the room, “A sister can’t go visit her dear brother?” she said, closing the door behind her.

She was still beautiful, wearing a silk red robe with gold embroidery, her golden curls loose on her shoulders, Jaime knew she had something in mind.

“What do you want, Cersei?” said Jaime, walking toward the window,

Cersei followed him by the window, took his left arm to make him turn towards her, and then slowly start opening her dress, red lips curled in a smile full of mirth and evilness.

She stood in front of him, her dress wide open on the front, showing her generous breasts, her belly, round but still lean, and her cunt.

Jaime swallowed hard, her hand went on his face, caressing his cheek, the memory of her old caresses and touches emerged in his mind. Her hand slowly traveled down, to his cock, stroking it through his breeches, Jaime gasped at the touch.

“I _came_ to spend some time with my dear brother” she said, her voice soft, sensual, never stopping to caress his cock, his balls.

Jaime wanted to stop her, but he couldn’t move, a thousand feeling clouded his mind. Cersei took his good hand and brought it to her cunt, “I hope your left hand is good as you right”, she said, stroking herself with his hand. Her cunt was warm, soft golden hair even there, it was so much time since he has been with a woman. He was weak, he wanted to shout at her, pull her away, but he couldn’t control his own body.

She was keeping stroking her cunt with his hand, when he saw her eyes, green, emerald, like his own, but sharp and full of cruelty and spite, and he stopped her abruptly. Green wasn’t his color anymore, he wanted the lightness and the purity he found in Brienne’s blue eyes, not the livid green of his sister’s eyes.

He distanced himself from her, she was taken aback by his roughness, “Sweet brother no one will find out, don’t worry, we can go back at the way the things were before.”

Jaime looked her, incredulous to her words, he almost wanted to laugh at her, “Do you really think that I want to go back to be the man I was then? I am changed Cersei, I’m not your puppet anymore, I’m a man” He stepped away from her, “Go back to your room, and forget this nonsense”,

Cersei went close to him, a derisory smile on her lips “Oh please” she spat, “that beast of yours has really rubbed off on you. How can you not be ashamed to be seen around with such an ugly creature. I know you have a soft spot for the freaks, but she is too much. Do you know they called her “Kingslayer’s whore?”, she stood closer to him, disgust on her face, “Do you really have sunk so low to fucked that revolting creature?”

 

Jaime was furious, he closed his hand around Cersei’s neck, “Don’t you dare speak of Brienne never again in such terms. You will show her respect, you will call her by her name,”

Their faces were separated only by a breath, he tightened the grip on her neck, he put his mouth near her ear, and with a low voice said “The only time I sunk so low is when I let you manipulate me, is when I would have destroy the whole world just to be with you.” He let go of her, she brought her hands to the neck, panting.

 

“Brienne has more honor and honesty in a nail of her fingers that you will ever have”, Jaime proudly said to her,

 

Cersei was shocked,  how could that beast have such power over Jaime, she thought.  

 

“NOW OUT!” he shouted, without even looking at her,

 

“You will regret this Jaime” Cersei said leaving the room.

 

Brienne was nervous, she was repeating her speech in mind, she decided to ask Jaime’s advice whether accept or  no the betrothal. She was afraid of his reaction, but didn’t know what to feared the most, if his indifference or happiness to the news or is rage and sadness.

She was approaching Jaime’s room when saw a female figure exiting that same room, she stopped immediately,  couldn’t believe her eyes, it was Cersei, leaving Jaime’s room, visibly naked while lacing her robe.

Cersei fake surprise to see Brienne there, a malicious grin on her face,

“ My Lady Brienne, I was…ehm…visiting my beloved brother”, said Cersei, feigning innocence.

Brienne didn’t know what to do, Cersei noted her difficulty, “Oh, who am I kidding, you must know already. After all you are his best _friend_ ,” she said the last word in a derogatory way,

Brienne tried to articulate something, ”I….I…don’t know of what you’re talking about”,

Cersei raised her eyebrows “Really??.....Well I guess I was wrong, my brother doesn’t trust you as much I thought he did. Never mind, I’m sure, since you care for him, you wouldn’t tell a soul that we….how can I say…..that we are again one soul and one body, if you know what I mean.”

Cersei was smiling, at least that part of the plan went good. May had told Cersei that Brienne after the dinner was going to Jaime’s room to talk to him, so she prepare a trapped, she was hoping Brienne found them in bed together, but that was good as well.

Brienne’s face was pale, her eyes wide, tears were about to fall on her cheeks, Cersei moved to leave “I must go now, I‘m rather tired, he is a lion after all” and she left. 

Brienne run to her room, close the door behind her, slide onto it, hand on mouth, and start crying desperately, how could he, she thought, how could he??? She knew he could never love her, she wasn’t that naïve, but come back with his sister, after all she did, after everything he had suffered to become the man he now was. How could he??? She stayed on the floor for what looked like an eternity, then she went to her desk and wrote a letter that had waiting too long to be written.  She now knew what the right decision was, she would leave King’s Landing and marry Ser Hugh Castle.

Once finished the letter she laid on her bed and starts crying again, until she fell asleep.

Jaime was raged and disgusted, he knew Cersei was bad, but hear her talking of Brienne with such cruelty, he was ashamed, but not of Brienne. He was ashamed of have loved such pathetic creature, his own twin sister. His love for Brienne was the only pure and clear thing of his life, was like a precious and rare gem that he guarded carefully in his heart. How blind  he has been all those years with Cersei.  

Jaime wondered where Brienne was, the dinner must have been over by now, he went out and knock on Brienne’s room, no response, Brienne had cried herself to sleep.

He slowly pushed the door open and saw Brienne asleep on her bed, he smiled at that sight, she must have been too tired. He approached to the bed, took the blanket at the foot and covered her, tucking a lock of straw hair behind her ear.

He stood there for a few moments, watching her sleeping, his eyes were smiling, drinking  the vision of his wench sleeping like an infant, he leaned forward to kiss her forehead, and then he left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne does something impulsive, she and Jaime reached a break out point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is full of angsty, sorry guys
> 
> As usual I own nothing,
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it ;)

**Chapter 5**

 

Ser Hugh Castle was a knight of the Stormlands, who had fought in the War against the Darkness, he descended from a family of valiant knights.

Brienne had met him when she went back to Tarth to visit her father, almost two years ago. She stayed on Tarth for three months, her father had missed her, and she had missed him. Ser Hugh’s father was a childhood friend of Lord Selwyn, and after the war he went back to Tarth to help the reconstruction. 

Ser Hugh was basically a male version of Brienne, he was a couple of inches taller than her, broad shoulders, light brown hair, crooked nose and grey eyes. At the best you could call him homely, in truth he was ugly, but being an ugly man was a thousand times better that being an ugly woman.

 

They met at the celebration for Brienne’s return, he was shy at first, they spent the entire evening talking about swords, knights and horses. Brienne showed Ser Hugh Oathkeeper, he was astonished by the beauty of the sword, and told her that whoever gift her with such invaluable object must think very highly of her. Brienne blushed at that think of Jaime, and gave Ser Hugh a warm smile.

They spent a good part of Brienne’s visit together, sparring and riding, she liked spend time with him, he was easy to feel him like a longtime friend, and became fond of him, though Jaime was always in her heart and in her mind, she only saw a friend in Hugh.

 

When she was about to leave for King’s Landing, Ser Castle proposed to her, he had fell in love with her. Saying that Brienne was shocked is highly reductive, for the first time someone had fell in love with her and not with Tarth. She knew he was sincere, but she couldn’t accept his proposal, she couldn’t marry him when she was in love with another man, no matter how hopeless that love was, she wasn’t ready yet to let him go. He understood, he knew she had someone in her heart, but he promised to her that he would asked her again, someday, hoping to find her heart free. She wrote to him after being back in the capital, and he answered back, but then they hadn’t written anymore to each other until a few days ago, when she received  a letter from him, in which he proposed to her again. Ten days had  passed and she still didn’t answer him. She knew she should to accept, and a part of her wanted to accept, she care for him, but he wasn’t Jaime and the thought of being away from him was unbearable. She hated having to lie to him and so decided that was time to tell him the truth and ask for his advice.

When she saw an half-naked Cersei step out from Jaime’s room her heart stopped beating, she wanted to scream, after have sacrificed her duty, her family, her home, to stay beside him, he went back to her, to their sick relationship.  She was sad, heartbroken, and most of all she was disappointed, she knew Jaime could never love her, at least not in a romantic way, but see him throwing away all he has done in this years to earn esteem and respect from his own people was too much for her, she felt let down, his sister had played him like a puppet for years, it was for her that he forsake all his dreams, he had done unspeakable things for her, but now he was free. She knew though Jaime, or at least a part of him, would always love Cersei, but she had hoped he would know better, she would be destroyed for sure to see another woman with him, but she would accepted it and understood, she was sure he couldn’t love her, because men like him were not made to love women like her, but she couldn’t bear the thought of him and Cersei together again. No this was too much for her, so she act of impulse.

The morning after Brienne raised at dawn and went for a ride, she need to vent and take some fresh air. Then she will go speak to the Queen asking to be released from her duty.

 

Jaime woke up early, he wanted to talked to Brienne, he dressed quickly  and went directly to her room, where he found just the maid cleaning.

“Where is lady Brienne?” he asked,

“I don’t know, ser, she went out at dawn”.

She must be in the training yard, thought Jaime. He arrived at the yard, it was still empty at such early hour, but Brienne wasn’t there, he checked the armory, still nothing. Then went to the stable and seeing Brienne’s horse wasn’t there he went to their clearing, sure to find her there, but she wasn’t. He was growing worried and irritated.

He looked for her everywhere in the Keep, then a Gold Cloak called him because it was time for them to patrol the city gates, he sighed and went to prepare, still worried about Brienne.

Brienne was exiting the Great Hall, she had talked to the Queen, who was happy for her and gave Brienne her blessing, hoping she would be happy and the wedding gifted with many children.

It was done, she would King’s Landing in a week time.

 

After the patrol Jaime went back to the yard, hoping to find her there, some members of the Queensguard told him she was in the armory.

 

“Where in the Seven Hells have you been??” he shouted her, “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, wench”

 

Brienne was arranging some tourney swords, “It seems you have found me” she said, without even raise her eyes to look at him.

 

Jaime noticed she was upset, “You know wench, I’ve waited for you last night, it’s not polite to give an appointment to someone and then not show up”,

 

Brienne smiled, but not her usual shy, blushing smile, it was a sad, hurt smile, “I’m sure you’ve found a way to kill the time”, she said,

 

Trying to light up her mood he said “actually no, I got bored, you know me, I’m lost without my wench”, he was closer to her now, she felt his breath on her neck, “ _no, I don’t know you”_ , Brienne thought.

“You wanted to talk to me yesterday, it seemed important, what it is?”,

 

Brienne took a deep breath and then spoke, she still couldn’t look him in the eye “Yes, a few days ago I received a wedding proposal, from Ser Hugh Castle, he’s a knight of the Stormlands, my father knew his father well. After some thinking I decided to accept him, he is a good man. I will leave for Tarth next week, and probably I’ll be married by the next moon, I’ve already spoke with Her Grace,”, she had spoken without breaks,

 

Jaime’s face was dark and pale at the same time,  he couldn’t believe his ears, how could she decide to marry, to leave, without even speak to him first?  “Is that a joke, Brienne? Out of the blue you decide to get married, with a stranger? You decide to leave King’s Landing, to leave …..me….Brienne?”  a broken voice in the last words, “You have arranged everything, you have basically already a foot on the ship, and I’m the last one to know??” he was beyond himself, furious, hurt, angry.

 

“I haven’t told anybody beside the Queen” said Brienne,

 

Jaime’s mouth curled in a sad grin, “So I am anybody. I thought we were friends, we were……how could you Brienne?”.

 

_How could I? How could you”,_   Brienne thought, “How could what Jaime??! How could I decide to live my own life, to follow my duty and my father’s will? What did you expect, Jaime, that I spent the rest of my life following you, like a pet? You knew this day would come”,

 

Jaime was passing his hand through his hair, “I never took you for my pet, and you know it. I know what you have to do, believe me I know very well. But why haven’t you talked to me first? Why, after all the proposals you have refused you accepted this Ser Hugh Fuckle??”.

 

He was in front of her, just few inches between them, he was staring at her, trying to read her. He saw her eyes were sad and angry, and they were dark.

 

“I do know him and I do care for him” said Brienne, almost afraid.

 

Jaime’ eyes went wide, incredulous at the woman’s words, “You know him? How….” His eyes widened in understanding, “you’ve met him on Tarth, is that why you stayed there for three bloody months??”

 

The three months Brienne spent on Tarth were the longest of his life, even longer that the year he spent in Robb Stark’s cell. In those months he was impossible, no one could talk to him, everyone stayed far away from him, because he was even more insolent, arrogant and mean than the usual in his beats and in his behavior. When Brienne came back the whole Keep was happy, not just Jaime.

 

“No, I stayed because I miss my home and my father. Ser Hugh and I became friends, he is a good man, he proposed to me back then, but I refused him, because….”, she paused, uncertain of her words, “because of my duty, to the Queen and to the realm. Now I can’t let him go again.”.

 

“Why you’ve never mentioned him to me, you have known him from two years, yet I’ve just learned about him. Why?” Jaime asked her.

 

In truth Brienne didn’t know why, Jaime was adjusting to his new life, she didn’t want to upset him, he needed her, so she didn’t mentioned him, and she thought him must have forget her by now. “I don’t know why I didn’t told you, you had already too many things to think about, plus I didn’t thought you cared, you would probably mocked me and him, and I’m not the one keeping secrets” she added, almost challenging him to confess his new found relationship with Cersei.

 

Jaime was confused “What secrets Brienne, I’ve told you all my dirty secrets, I trust you, and I thought you trusted me too.”

 

“You know I trust you” she almost used the past tense.

 

“Why haven’t you told me after receiving his letter then? “ he really couldn’t accept Brienne didn’t trusted him with such important matter

 

“I didn’t know how, I needed time to think by myself, without interferences. I was about to tell you when…when…? She stopped abruptly, she couldn’t even say what she had witnessed that night, anger growing in her.

 

“When what Brienne?” Jaime asked, confused

 

“When nothing, Jaime, I’m a grown woman, I’m entitled to take my own decisions. That’s it!” Brienne almost shouted the words in his face. “Why do you care so much Jaime, you knew that one day or the other I’ve had to get marry. What it’s bothering you so much, are you afraid to be alone, don’t worry you have Tyrion……and Cersei.”  Jaime looked at her without any response, she wanted to push him, “Why it’s bothering you Jaime?”

 

“What is bothering me is that you, after not thinking or talking to that guy for two years, suddenly decide to marry him.” He snickered, he was so angry with her, “If you were tired of being a maiden, if you wanted so desperately to feel a cock inside you, you could have asked me, wench!” he had pushed too far, the minute he said those words he knew he shouldn’t, but couldn’t help himself.

 

Brienne’s eye went wide, her face red from anger and she slapped him, make his golden head turn.

 

Jaime knew he had overstated, but he didn’t care, he was mad with her,

“Don’t you never dare speak to me in that way. Ever again!!” said Brienne, tears filling her eyes, he stood there and watched her, his good hand on the cheek she had just slapped, then she left, without further words.

 

He groaned and starts throwing everything around. He toppled shelves full of helmets and shields, thrown swords and daggers to the floor, making such noise that almost the entire Red Keep heard him.

 

Tyrion came in the armory to find a panting, red and furious Jaime trying to catch his breath, while beating a wooden table with a tourney sword.

The two brothers looked at each other, “you know”, Jaime said, Tyrion’s mismatched eyes were full of empathy and understanding, “I’m so sorry Jaime, Daenerys has just informed me…..I know  how you must be feeling right now”, he was thinking to Tysha,

 

Jaime laughed “Really?? What do you know Tyrion?? Are you comparing my years with Brienne with the loss of your teenage sweetheart? You don’t know a fuck of how I feel, you don’t have the slightest idea.”

 

Tyrion decided to let go, knowing how upset he was, and also he knew he was right, he couldn’t compare what Brienne was for his brother to what Tysha had been for him.

 

Jaime left the armoury, went to his room and start drinking wine, he wanted to sleep, and pretend this was all a bad dream. He couldn’t abide the thought of her wedded and bedded with someone who wasn’t him, and most of all he couldn’t imagine his life without her. He was so angry, with Brienne, with himself and with the bloody fucking dragon queen.

 

Tyrion knocked on his door, Jaime was well into his cups, “Go away Tyrion” shouted Jaime, Tyrion opened the door and came in,

 

“Which part of go away you didn’t understood??” said Jaime,

 

“Oh sorry, the door is quite thick, I thought you said don’t go away” said Tyrion,

 

“Funny, now that you saw I’m well, you can go away”.

 

Tyrion went near his bed, “No I think I’m gonna stay, isn’t right that you enjoy this very good Dornish red without me, after all I’m the god of tits and wine”, said Tyrion pouring some wine in a cup

 

 “Do the fuck you want, I’m not gonna talk about it, I don’t care who she marry,” said Jaime keeping drinking

 

Tyrion nod, “I can see that you don’t care, I guess the wine is for celebrate Brienne’s wedding?”.

 

Jaime lay on the bed, an empty cup in his hand, “Do you know she slapped me?”,

 

 “I’m sure you did nothing to deserve it.” Tyrion said while tasting the wine, it was indeed a very good wine.

 

Jaime was sit on the bed now, “I may have deserved the slap, I said something very offensive to her. But that doesn’t change that she did everything behind my back, I thought we were friends, she knows every dark, twisted secret of mine. I trusted her blindly, almost from the beginning, and she didn’t tell me something so important?”.

Tyrion paused for a moment, taking another cup of wine, “Have you ever thought that perhaps it was too painful for her, that she maybe tried to tell you, but couldn’t. You knew this day would have come, Jaime.”

 

Yes he knew, but it was like waiting for a war to start, you know is coming, you know is gonna be devastating, but when the war really come you find yourself lost the same.

 

“I know, but, you didn’t saw her, she was so distant, so cold, angry and hurt…..she was so blunt.”  He was staring an empty spot on the wall, “Tyrion, what am I going to do without her?” he asked, with such sadness in the eyes,

 

“You will go on” Tyrion said, “How?” Jaime asked

 

Tyrion get up from his chair “One day at the time, like the rest of us” and went to the door,

 

Jaime was now sitting on the bedside, “she care for him” he said, his voice broken, Tyrion gave him an interrogative look, Jaime continue “she told me, they met in Tarth, I know I should be happy that she apparently found someone good, and believe me the selfless part of me, the part that want her happiness, it is, but the other part, the selfish one, hate that man, because he can have her like I never will.”

 

Tyrion went to his brother and pat him on the knee, “Try to get some sleep Jaime, and tomorrow go talk to Brienne,” And went away.

 

 Jaime lay on the bed but couldn’t sleep….all he could think was Brienne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know maybe some of you might think Brienne overreacted, I hope I was able to show how much thinking that Jaime went back to Cersei had hurt her.   
> Brienne had met Jaime away from Cersei, and that allowed her to see the real Jaime, the knight he had hidden to pursuit his love for Cersei. She is sure he couldn't love her, but she doesn't want Jaime to go back to be the man he was, a man who has forsaken himself for Cersei. She felt disappointed and hurt.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something wicked this way comes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, commenting and kudoing :)
> 
> As I've already said I love Happy Endings, so do not worry,
> 
> I own nothing
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy ;)

**Chapter 6**

Jaime and Brienne avoided each other in the next days. He was too proud and hurt, she was too angry with him.

 

Jaime was patrolling the Mud Gate, the whole Red Keep was now aware of the forthcoming wedding of Brienne with some knight of the Stormlands, and Jaime thought everyone looked at him with a pitiful and puzzled look.

 

“Have you heard, the Maid of Tarth is finally betrothed. Poor lad, I bet that when he sees her he’ll run off to take the Black” Jaime heard the two Gold Cloaks, who were now laughing like pigs, they stopped as soon as they saw him.

“What so funny?” he asked them, an intimidating look on his face

“Nothing , we were just having conversation” one of them answered him,

“Really, I thought you were disrespecting a Lady. A lady who could easily kick your asses, in fact, I believe she has already beat both of you, hasn’t she?”, Jaime said with an arrogant and challenging tone, then he punched them, one with his good hand, the other with the golden one.

They fell on the ground, “Are you mad, Kingslayer?? What….. are you sad because you’ll lose your ugly whore??” at that Jaime dashed on them, and starts punching and kicking them, but he was outnumber, so he had the worst in the fight, but he didn’t care, he just wanted something or someone to beat up.

They left him on the ground, a black eye and more bruises, one of them said to him, “why don’t you go and fuck you sister to calm down, at least she is beautiful” and laughed again like the pigs they were. He spat his own blood from his mouth, “Bastards assholes!!” and then loses consciousness.

 

Brienne had been very busy organizing the things for her trip. She had chosen one of her best pupils to take her place. She had also written to Sansa Stark, now Queen in the North, who had become friend of both her and Jaime when they had rescued her from Littlefinger and helped her taking back Winterfell.

Brienne was happy to keep herself  busy, at least so she had less time for thinking of Jaime, but he was always with her during her longs and sleepless nights. She wanted to explain to him why she took that decision, but in the same time she couldn’t face him about Cersei, it was too much for her. She avoided the place where knew Jaime could be, and he did the same with her, but she had to say goodbye to him before leaving.

While writing a list of things for her trip, someone knocked on her door, she went to open it to find out it was Tyrion. “May I?” asked him,

“Of course, come in, please have a sit, I was just preparing stuffs before leaving”, Brienne said, pulling out a chair for him.

“I think congratulations are in order, my Lady. The Queen had told me of your betrothal” Tyrion said while sitting,

“Yes, thank you, I wanted to tell you the news, but I have been busy, sorry”, Brienne said, apologizing for not telling him in person, she wanted to be the one to tell lord Tyrion, but then her fight with Jaime in the armoury had made her forget about it.

“My brother didn’t take it too well. The armoury is still a mess after your last _conversation_ ” Tyrion said,

“His just upset because I didn’t asked his permission first” Brienne said,

“Well, you have to admit it is rather surprising. Has happened all too fast, it almost seemed you wanted to escape King’s Landing. Why so suddenly?” Tyrion hadn’t told anything to Jaime, but he thought very strange and suspicious Brienne’s behaviour, she wasn’t impulsive. If it is truth that she received the letter several days ago, the way she arranged an urgent meeting with the Queen, the way she had told Jaime, was so unlike her, almost as to hurt him. He suspected something wasn’t quite right, but couldn’t point what.

 

“I just didn’t want to lose the opportunity, I’ve already refused him once.” Brienne lied, “It is so strange that I want to marry a man who cares for me, instead of Tarth? Who had confessed his love, and I knew he was sincere.” Brienne asked Tyrion,

“Oh no, it’s perfectly understandable, but why not tell me or Jaime?” Tyrion asked her

“I just wanted to think about it by myself.” that was true, Brienne thought,

“Why haven’t you accepted him back then, when he told he loved you? It was for Jaime, wasn’t it?

Brienne was taken aback by Tyrion’s question “No….I…I had my duty with the Queen,…and yes Jaime had asked me to stay, so I did, but now he is fine, he has you, he has Cersei.” she whispered her name, Tyrion raised an eyebrow at his sister’s name, “don’t worry he’ll be fine without me, I’m just a friend, a follower, his loyal pet” there was hurt in her voice, Tyrion noted.

“If you really believed that, Brienne, you are far less smart that I gave you credit to be”, then asked her, “Are you sure that nothing happened in the last few days? Someone’s threating you? Did my brother offend you?” Tyrion couldn’t understand what has made her so hurt to fly away from his brother.

Brienne couldn’t tell Tyrion that Cersei and Jaime were lovers again, Tyrion would be mad with Jaime, and he needed his brother more than ever now. Tyrion knew how toxic Cersei was for Jaime, he had sacrificed everything for her, after they made peace he asked Jaime to be as far as possible from Cersei, and Jaime assured him he had no intention of be that man again, that he had found the light.

 “No, nothing, I’ve made my mind, that’s it”.

Tyrion was still puzzled, but couldn’t do anything , “Ok, I’ll leave, I’ve already stole too much of you time” and he left.

 

The day of Brienne’s leaving arrived. Daenerys gave her an official goodbye in the throne room, praising her bravery,  her honour, her honesty. She meant every word, she admired Brienne as a woman and as a warrior.

“Lady Brienne, I’m happy for you, and I wish you a long, happy marriage, and may the Gods send you many strong children. I’m sad thought to lose a presence so important in the court, you’ll be sorely missed, by someone more than others”, Daenerys told Brienne in private.

Brienne blushed, compliments always made her uncomfortable, “Than you, You Grace, has been an honour to serve you and your realm, I’m sure Tarth will continue to be an alley for the realm.”

 

Jaime remained in his room, he couldn’t see her leaving, couldn’t hear all those idiots wishing her a happy marriage. The thought of his Brienne touched by another man was unbearable, he imagined her on the wedding night, afraid and shy, and imagined him claiming her maidenhead, without thinking of her, but just thinking of his own pleasure.

He dreamed lots of time about making love with Brienne, he would have caressed and kissed every inch of her pale skin, every freckles, he would have made her feel desired and loved as she deserved to be. He would make her feel like a woman. But another will have the honour, another man will be the father of her children, another man will become old with her. He threw his cup to the floor. Someone knocked on the door,

“Who the hell is???” he yelled, hoping to scare the asshole who came to bother him on this day, when he heard the voice behind the door he froze….Brienne.

“Come in” he said

Brienne opened the door and entered in the room, insecure of what to say or do, she hated feeling awkward in his presence, “I’m sorry to bother you, but my ship is leaving in an hour, I came to say goodbye”,

He wanted to go to her, hug her and kiss her, make her stay, tell her that she was the only thing that mattered to him, but couldn’t, he was still angry, and he was still a Lannister, and Lannisters were proud lions, so all he said was “Goodbye then,” in a flat and cold tone.

Brienne knew him well, he could be a five years old child sometimes, “I know we said bad things to each other the last time we spoke, I should have told you before about my intensions, and you shouldn’t have told me such things, but we are friends, and we are not going to see each other for a long time, probably never again.”

 

“It wasn’t my decision. Go, marry, have children, become a fat and boring lady, I don’t care.” Jaime wanted to hurt her as she had hurt him, he was being a child, and he knew it, but couldn’t help himself.

Brienne was visibly hurt and sad, her voice broken, “After all we have been through, after all the years we have been friends, brothers in arms, after we saved each other life countless times, is this really the way you want us to say goodbye, Jaime? Our friendships means so little for you that you can’t swallow your pride?” she was about to cry,  Jaime didn’t look at her, if he had he would have crumble, instead he remained mute,

“I see….Goodbye Ser Jaime.” , as soon as she was out the room she burst in tears, now it was really over.

“Goodbye” said Jaime, is voice just a gust of wind, and tears start falling.

 

Tyrion escorted Brienne on the ship, “It seem it’s time to say goodbye, my lady”, he said, “I wish you all the best, you deserve happiness, and I hope you’ll find it on Tarth. You are an incredible woman Brienne, and don’t let anyone or anything make you believe any less of yourself.” He took her hand and kissed it.

Brienne was touched, “Thank you” what all she managed to say, but it was full all the things she wanted to tell him. Tyrion has been a good friend to her, and she was fond of him.

“There there, don’t cry, warrior maiden don’t cry”, said Tyrion with his smart grin,

Brienne smiled a little at that, “He didn’t even want to say goodbye to me” she said him,

“He’s hurt, Brienne, you have no idea how much losing you means for him. He’s destroyed, believe me” said Tyrion,

“It’s time to go, the ships will sail shortly” Brienne said, “Goodbye Tyrion, take care of you, and of the realm” Tyrion smiled at that. “I left something for your brother in my room” she said, then she added “take care of him, please, he needs you.”

“I will, don’t worry.”

 

Jaime saw Brienne’s ship sailing from his room’s window, he cried. He noted that even the sky seems sad, it was full of clouds. He wanted to be alone, one place came to his minds, their clearing, the place where he had been happier in his entire life, so he went there and sit under their tree, and stayed there, thinking of Brienne. It was almost night when Tyrion found him, still under the tree, “There you are, I’ve been looking for you” actually Tyrion knew where he might be, but he wanted to give his brother some time alone,

“Here I am,” said Jaime,  sadness in his eyes “so, she left.”

Tyrion went sit beside him, “Yes, I escorted her to the ship personally, she is, after all precious cargo”, said Tyrion smiling,

“I know you are here to cheer me up, but don’t worry, I’m fine, I just want to be alone” Jaime said,

“I know, but Brienne told me she has left something for you in her room, so I thought you wanted to check what was” Tyrion get up and start walking, “she has also asked me to take care of you”,

“How thoughtful of her” Jaime said, sarcasm in his voice.

 

After a while Jaime went to Brienne’s room, he was so strange to see that room empty, he could still smell her presence. He looked around searching for what she had left him, when he found it he couldn’t believe his eyes, “how could she?” he thought. Oathkeeper was carefully laid on her bed, he was about to get angry with even more when he saw a note beside the blade, he took the note and opens it to read:

 

            “ Dear Jaime;

            

             I give you back Oathkeeper, before you jump to the wrong conclusions, I’m not doing it to                   

             to hurt you, believe me. When you gave me Oathkeeper, you gave me your trust and your  

             honour,  and you have  no idea how much it meant for me back then.

             You were the first one to see a knight in me, and I saw the knight in you born again when you

              gave me a quest and Oathkeeper. I want you to have it now, as a reminder of your value as

              a knight, of your honour as a man, and a way for you to remember me by. This sword is the

              most precious thing I own, and I give it to you so that you never forget the man you have

              become, a man who I admire beyond words. I know I left it in good hands, and maybe

              someday I’ll wield it again.

 

 

                                                                                                               Always yours

                                                                                                        Lady Brienne of Tarth           ”

 

 

She is always been able to astonish him. He folded carefully the letter and went to lay on her bed beside Oathkeeper, that was her way to stay with him. And he had been so proud and stupid not wanting to say goodbye to her, he hugged the sword, and surrounded by Brienne’s smell he fell asleep.

 

Brienne had been gone from three days now. Jaime was spending his time sparring against the tree in their clearing, trying to avoid everybody from the Keep. He had put Oathkeeper on the wall in front of his bed, so he could be the first thing he sees every morning.

He was almost near the tree when a lightning hit it, cutting the tree in half. Jaime was startled and then he laughed, bitterly, the Gods must be making fun of me, he thought. A heavy rain starts pouring, so he decides to get back at the Keep.

 

Jaime was soaking wet when arrived to his room, where he found Tyrion waiting for him, with a worried and scared face. Jaime knew something had happened.

“Sit down Jaime” Tyrion told him,

“I don’t want to sit down, speak” it was an order,

Tyrion took a deep breath, “There’s been a storm, off-shore the coast between Sharp Point and Stonedance, Brienne’s ships was passing there when the storm hit, it sank. Not everybody was able to get on the lifeboats, there are many dead. I’m trying to find out if Brienne is among them. I’m so sorry Jaime.”

Jaime’s face was white as a sheet, it was as life has abandoned him. _“Please, this must be a dream , just a bad dream. Brienne cannot be…..”_

“Jaime, please speak to me” Tyrion went to his brother, took his hand and made him sit on the side of the bed, Jaime was staring Oathkeeper, then he stood up, “I have to go there, I have to save her Tyrion, I need a ship, some men, I have to save her, I have to…” he was mad,

“I’ve already arranged everything, a ship will sail tomorrow at dawn, I’ve also alerted one of the maesters, he will come with you. You have just to choose the men who will accompany you. Brienne is the strongest woman I know, I’m sure she’ll be ok.”

Jaime’s eyes were full of tears, Tyrion hugged his brother, “I’ll come with you, I will not leave you alone”

“Thank you” said Jaime


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jaime and Tyrion reached Brienne. Tyrion find out how deep Jaime loves Brienne

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, I couldn't leave you with a cliffhanger ;)
> 
> I own nothing as usual
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it ;)

**Chapter 7**

It was the middle of the night, Jaime was preparing for his trip, his heart like a stone in his throat.

A knock on the door, he thought was Tyrion, instead, to his surprise, it was the Queen.

 

 “I’m deeply sorry for what happened to Lady Brienne,” said her entering the room, Jaime didn’t said anything in response, she continue, “your brother has informed me that you plan to go there looking for her”,

Ah there it is, Jaime thought, “I’m going there, if you want to kill me for that, you will do it when I come back, I don’t fucking care. I will not stay here while Brienne is who knows where fighting for her life.”

“I know, that is why I’m here, you have my permission to leave King’s Landing, I hope you’ll find her alive”

Jaime was surprised and grateful, all he could tell her was thank you, before she left the room.

At dawn the ship Tyrion has arranged sailed from the harbour, alongside the two brothers, on the ship there were 15 among unsullied and members of the Queensguard, Maester Cyrus, and Lady Lyla Stroke, Brienne’s replacement, had volunteered herself.  

 

Brienne was on the deck, the first day of crossing had passed, she was breathing the salty air, how she love the sea smell, it remembered  her of home, when she still had a family who could be call as such, with her siblings and her mother. Thousands of thoughts crowded her mind, her forthcoming wedding, especially the first night, she was so nervous and afraid about it, what if she wasn’t like the other women, and couldn’t pleasure men, what if Ser Hugh in seeing her naked would be disgusted, what if he was like the men of Renly’s camp and she had mistaken his nature……she was so afraid.  

Of course the thing that most occupied her mind was Jaime, she was worried for him, afraid of what Cersei’s influence might do to him. But she was also mad at him, he didn’t said a proper goodbye to her, after all that they had been through, they parted almost as strangers. She was wondering if he had understood why she left Oathkeeper to him, it was her way to be with him even being miles away, to protect him and remind him of the man he had become.

 

Threatening clouds start gathering on the sky, Brienne noted the sailors were worried, they start preparing the ship, a storm was coming.

Was raining heavily, Brienne couldn’t even see the end of the ship, children were screaming, the sea was agitated, waves higher and higher were forming, the storm was raging. The captain changed route, he was directing the ship to the coast at Sharp Point, was too dangerous keep going to Tarth. The storm was becoming more violent, a lighting hit the mainmast, starting a fire on the ship. The captain was doing his best to keep the ship from sinking, he shout the men to prepare the lifeboats, the ship was swamping with water. Brienne went immediately to help the sailors lowering the lifeboats and gathering women and children to help them getting on the boats, it was chaos and hell. 

She was helping an old woman when she saw a little girl was about to be hit by the Main Top of the mizzenmast,  it was the same blonde little girl who the day before, watching Brienne’s scarred cheek, instead of being afraid and scream, like most children would, went near Brienne and kissed her scarf, “so it’ll heal better” the girl, named Sarah, told her, it made Brienne cry.

So Brienne jumped and pushed Sarah aside, the shroud hit her and she was violently pushed on the ship’ side,  hitting her ribcage on the tick wood. She tried to keep from falling, but the ship curved to the right side, she lost grip, her breath was difficult, she must have break some ribs, she slipped on the opposite side, hitting her head, before falling out in the cold water. Before to lose consciousness she gripped to a piece of wood, to keep herself afloat, then all went dark.

In the same time, Sarah, the little girl Brienne had saved from certain death, had get on a boat with her mother, their lifeboat had just touched the sea when Sarah shouted “Brienne”, pointing at the giant woman, who looked like a corpse. She must have heard the girl, because she moaned and move an arm, fishermen, who went to help the ship’s passenger, saw her moving and took her on their ship.

 

The time seemed passed slowly to Jaime, he was going mad, the only one who could talk to him was Tyrion, all the others keep him at safe distance, partially because they were afraid of him, he was really impossible in these days, but also because they knew he was suffering, it was written on his face, and they preferred not bother him and respect his grieve. He spent time in his room or walking alone on the deck, constantly asking where they were and when they would reach their destination, driving the sailors and the captain crazy.

Finally they reached the coast of Sharp Point, Brienne’s ship was still sinking, they anchored the ship and took a smaller boat to reached the coast. Jaime’s heart was beating so fast he was afraid it was about to jump out his mouth. A camp for the wounded has been set by the villagers, they went immediately to ask about Brienne, fortunately she was easy to remember, he thought.

 

Jaime let Tyrion do all the talking, he wasn’t able to speak. They approached a young sailor,

“Excuse me” said Tyrion, “we are looking for a woman, very tall, with straw and short hair, a scarred cheek, she was on the ship, her name is….”,the sailor didn’t let Tyrion finish and immediately said  “Lady Brienne!”, Jaime’s heart skip a beat at her name, Tyrion asked the boy if she was well, the sailor remained silent for a moment, Jaime’s mouth went dry, then, finally, the boy said “she is still alive, some fishermen saved her, but the maester said that he doesn’t know if she is gonna make it. She is in that tent over there,” and pointed at a tent not far from where they were. Tyrion thanked the boy, and told him that on their ship there were supplies for the wounded and for them.

 

Jaime walked to Brienne’s tent slowly, his legs were so heavy, he stopped at the enter, he didn’t have the courage to pass the threshold, Tyrion helped him, “let’s go inside Jaime”, they entered the tent, there were six people in it, Brienne was in the first bedroll, Jaime went near her, afraid of what he might see.

She looked so small, he thought, almost laughing at the thought of Brienne looking small, she was pale, cold, almost a corpse, had bandage on her chest and on her head. He took her hand and brought it to his lips, kissing it, “I’m here wench”, he said, with a broken voice, his eyes were shiny.

Maester Cyrus start examining Brienne, he asked for the maester who had threat her, he came in, the two maesters start talking, Brienne had several broken ribs, she hit her head violently, probably she was bleeding inside. “Has she regain conscious?” asked maester Cyrus,

“Just once, few time after we rescued her, she keep saying a name, Jaime” said the other maester, whose name was Lawrence, “after that she hasn’t been awake, I’m sorry”,

At that Jaime choked, she had called for him, how stupid he had been, his last words to her were so hard.

“Will she live?” Tyrion asked, knowing his brother couldn’t ask the question,

“I honestly don’t know, she is the strongest woman I’ve ever met, or she would already been dead by now. Only time will tell, I’m sorry”,

“Can she travel? We want to bring her to King’s Landing, do you think she’ll survive the trip?” Tyrion asked,

“King’s landing has the best maesters, here she is not in good condition, the risk of infection is high, so yes she can travel, with the due precautions” said the maester.

Tyrion along with the two maesters left the tent and went to talk outside, leaving Jaime alone with Brienne.

Jaime took a chair and sit beside Brienne’s bed, took her hand again, watching it carefully, like it was something precious. “I never thought you to be the vengeful type, wench, don’t you think it’s a bit too much now, dying for teaching me a lesson”, he leaned down to kiss her forehead whispering “Please wake up Brienne”, he rest his lips on her forehead, longer that is was necessary, like he was afraid to let her go, then sit back,  “Don’t you dare leave me, wench. I’ll never forgive you if you die, I’ll follow you and make you’re after life an hell” he was caressing her hand, “Did you hear me, don’t die, Brienne, marry whoever you want, refuse to speak to me ever again, but please, live, for me, please.”, his voice broken by tears.

“Is she your friend? That’s is why you are crying?”,  Jaime turn to see a blonde little girl, not older than six or seven years, staring at him,

“Yes she is my friend, who are you?” he asked Sarah,

“Brienne saved me, I don’t want her to die, I like her, she was nice to me on the ship, she showed me her sword” a few tears lined her cheeks, Jaime didn’t know exactly how Brienne had injured herself, but it make perfect sense that she helped the other passengers, and she would die to save a little girl’s life, he knew that, “Yes she is very nice and brave, the strongest woman I know, she’ll be fine” he said her, more to reassure himself that not the girl.

“Can I sit here with you, we’ll leave soon”

“Off course you can, come” and she went to sit on Brienne’s bed, “I’m Jaime and you are?” Jaime asked her,

“Sarah” she answered

“It’s a good name, Sarah” he said to her, smiling, the first smile from days,

“Your too is a good name” said Sarah, such innocence in her eyes, “Tell me of Brienne, on the ship she told me that she fought a bear, is true??” she was eager to learn,

“Yes, Brienne and I fought a big, bad bear, all black and brown. She was even wearing a dress, pink, and oh the bear was very, very angry…”,

“Keep telling please” said the girl, all excited, and so Jaime spent hours talking of Brienne and their adventures with the little girl, he keep talking and talking. Jaime couldn’t think a better way to spent time other than talking about his Brienne. At some point Sarah’s mother came looking for her and stayed to listen Jaime telling of the battle at the Wall, after a while Tyrion also joined them.

Jaime’s eyes sparkled talking of Brienne, everyone could see how deeply he loved her.

Sarah and her mother had to leave, their ship was about to sail, Sarah gave Jaime a kiss on the cheek, “Don’t be sad, Brienne will wake up” and she left, leaving somehow hope in Jaime’s heart.

 

Tyrion was entering the tent that Jaime had refused to leave even for just a minute, when stood still on the threshold watching Jaime wash Brienne, he carefully passed a wet cloth on her arms, her face, then he brushed her hair, and leaned her down on the bedroll, so carefully as afraid she will break under his touch.  He then kissed her lips, gently and sweetly, and caressing her cheek he laid down beside her.

Tyrion was touched by that sight, he knew his brother loved Brienne, but seeing him taking such care of her made him cry, he was proud of him, he had finally found a woman worth of his love. If he knew something of his brother it was that he loved more, and more deeply that everyone else, he loved beyond prejudices, beyond beauty, sometime beyond hope. The Gods must be evil to take her from him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Of course Brienne is not dead, I'm not George Martin, I don't kill off characters I like:D


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone arrived from Tarth, also Pod and Sansa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I have almost finished to write this ff I'll post another chapter
> 
> I own nothing,
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it ;)

**Chapter 8**

Jaime spent his time in Brienne’s tent, never leaving her, the next day they would sail to go back to King’s Landing.

Tyrion was walking and talking with the captain of their ship when they saw a ship approaching, on the flag there were sun and stars, it was a ship from Tarth. Daenerys had immediately informed Lord Selwyn of Brienne’s accident, so Lord Tarth must have come to see how his daughter were.

Tyrion w found himself in front of two giants, a young man, even taller than Brienne, and an old man, that he supposed be Brienne’s father.

“Lord Selwyn” greet him Tyrion, “I’m sorry that we met in such sad circumstances, we are all very fond of your daughter at court”.

“Thank you, Lord Hand, Brienne had told me you are a good friend to her. This is Ser Hugh Castle, Lady Brienne’s betroth.” Lord Selwyn said, pointing at the tall, very tall man beside him.

Tyrion looked like an infant near them, “ _for the seven hells what do they feed babies in the Stormlands, are they all giants there?”_ the Hand thought, “Ser Hugh” said Tyrion with a nod.

“How is my daughter?”  the Evenstar asked, visibly worried but calm,

 

“Lady Brienne’s condition are critics but stable, so far, we will brought her back to King’s Landing tomorrow,” answered Tyrion

“To King’s Landing? She was coming to Tarth, I’ll bring her back home” Tyrion was afraid of that, he didn’t want Brienne to leave for Tarth, she has to stay in King’s Landing,

“Forgive me, My Lord, but the Queen asked that Brienne is brought to King’s Landing, to have better cure. You cannot deny Her Grace’s wish”, Daenerys didn’t really order to bring Brienne to the Keep, but Lord Selwyn didn’t have to know this,

Both Lord Selwyn that Ser Hugh looked at each other, they couldn’t defy the Queen, and it was true that in King’s Landing she’ll have better cure. “As Her Grace wish, now I want to see my daughter” said Lord Selwyn, with a commanding tone,

“Of course, please follow me” and Tyrion lead them to Brienne’s tent, hoping not to find Jaime washing her or lay beside her.

Tyrion entered the tent first, Jaime was sitting next to Brienne, her hand in his, as usual by now, he cleared his voice, “Lord Selwyn Tarth and Ser Hugh Castle” said while the two men entered the tent.

Jaime immediately turned his face at the name, in particular when he heard the second one. He stood up to greet Lord Tarth, and gave just a nod to Ser Hugh, as to make him understand that he wasn’t welcome.

Lord Selwyn went to his daughter, his old age visible in the way he walked, he leaned over and stroked her hair, “She looks so weak” he said, “The last daughter of the Evenstar, the last shred of family I’ve left, I’ve must enraged the Gods so much in a previous life” he was talking with the voice of a broken man, who piece by piece had lost all his family.

Ser Hugh took Brienne’s hand, Jaime almost jumped at him, but Tyrion stopped him from doing something stupid.

“I’d like to remain some time alone with my daughter, please” this time his tone wasn’t of command, it was almost a plead.

Tyrion and Ser Hugh immediately went out, Jaime’s feet seemed unable to move, he didn’t want to leave Brienne, what if she wake up and I’m not at her side, he thought, but knew that Lord Selwyn had every right to be alone with his own daughter.

“You too, Ser Jaime”,

“I’m no Ser, my Lord” said Jaime

“I know, but Brienne always speak of you as Ser Jaime, so I guess I’ll stick to it” Selwyn  said Jaime, with kindness,

“I’ll leave you alone, I’m sorry” Jaime said, and slowly made to exit,

“Ser Jaime I know you have saved many times Brienne’s life, and I thank you for that”

“She saved me much more times, and not just from death”. Yes Brienne had wake up the good in him, saving so much more than just his life.

Lord Selwyn nod and smiled at Jaime. Exiting the tent there were Tyrion and Ser Hugh outside, talking. “There you are” said Tyrion, “Ser Hugh and I were talking about our Lady Brienne”,

“Yes, I hope she’ll wake up soon, I’ve waited a long time to marry her. I know you and Brienne are close friends, she told me of you when she visited Tarth.” Jaime didn’t bother answer him,

Tyrion answered for him, “Yes, they go way back, Brienne is like no other woman”

“Indeed she is” said Ser Castle,

At that Jaime sighed, “Do you think to know her so well, _Ser Hugh_?” he spat his name, “For how long do you know her, three months, and almost two years of silence, do you really think to know Brienne??”, he hated the guy, and it didn’t bother hiding his hate.

“Yes, I do know her. I know how strong she is, and not just with a sword in hand, how loyal and honest she is, I know she value honour above everything else. She is shy, fierce in protecting those she loved and noble as few. I recognize value when I see it, Ser Jaime, I spent many days in the company of Brienne, and I fell in love with her.” He spoke with calm, sure of himself.

 

Jaime was speechless, angry with himself, how could this stranger know her so well.

“You seem to know your bride-to-be very well, and I must congratulate you on your choice” , Tyrion said, trying to hide Jaime’s reaction. “My brother is very tired, he has taken care of Brienne since we have arrived,”,

Ser Hugh seemed surprised, and looked Jaime closer, he did have dark rings under his eyes, his eyes were tired and small for lack of sleep, “ _maybe”_ he thought, “thank you, for taking care of her, Ser, you must be very fond of her.”

“Would you like to eat something, Ser Hugh, I’m sure you must be tired for the trip” Tyrion said,

“Yes, thank you, Lord Hand” and the two walked away.

Jaime stood at the tent’s entrance, he was confused, Ser Hugh seems really to care for her, and it bothered him.

 

The trip for King’s Landing was quiet, Jaime never left Brienne’s cabin, not even when Lord Tarth or Ser Hugh came to visit her. Tyrion asked to add a bed in her cabin for Jaime, so he could have at least pretend to rest a little. He was worried of Lord Selwyn reaction, but he didn’t show any, and Tyrion noted that he watched a lot his brother, as if to study him. He wasn’t sure if it was a good or a bad thing.

When they arrived they found waiting Daenerys and Sansa Stark, the Queen in the North. She was on her way to Tarth for Brienne’s wedding and took the chance to stop in the capitol first for official matters, and was informed of the accident. Behind her there was Pod, now Ser Podrick Payne, who after rescued her decided to stay with her in Winterfell, Brienne and Jaime suspected that there was something between them.

Jaime, Ser Hugh and two sailors were bringing Brienne out of the ship on a stretcher, Pod went and helped her carry Brienne, taking the place of one of the two soldiers. He and Jaime looked at each other and nod, no words needed.

They brought her into her room, the other maester of the capitol, Louis, was called,  to help the cure and change the dressing. Brienne was still unconscious, but had start to slowly move her eyelid, there were hope.

Tyrion forced Jaime to at least take a bath, then he arranged for another bed in Brienne’s room, just in time for Jaime to have bathed and change. The older Lannister looked grateful his little brother, then sit at Brienne’s side and started reading her “Knights of Westeros”, one of her favourite books.

Tyrion left them alone. Just outside Brienne’s door he found Sansa Stark and Podrick Payne, they wanted to visit Lady Brienne.

“Lord Hand” said Pod, bowing his head to greet him, a sad smile on the boy’s face, Tyrion knew he was very fond of Brienne, she was like a mother.

“Pod, it’s good to see you, though the circumstances are sad”, Tyrion was fond of the boy, he had been a good squire and had saved his life. “The Northern air it suits you, you are really well”, he has grown in a pretty, if not handsome, young man, but Tyrion noticed Sansa blushed a little, he knew Pod had a thing for the Stark girl. Then he looked Sansa, “Your grace, you become more beautiful each passing day”, she had indeed turned into a beautiful woman. Their wedding had been annulled, but they become friends, she was grateful to him for have been a good man and respected he during their brief married.

“You look well too, my Lord. We wanted to visit Lady Brienne but we didn’t want to disturb Ser Jaime” she said,

“You may go inside, my brother hasn’t left Brienne’s side and I don’t think he will until she wake up, you will disturbing him.” At that Sansa and Pod looked at each other with a knowing look, they had witnessed the deepening of their relationship, Sansa was sure that they would be married by now, that’s why she was so surprised by Brienne’s letter announcing her wedding with someone else. That’s why she wanted to go on Tarth before the wedding, she wanted to see with her own eyes if this man was worth of her saviour and friend.

They heard steps approaching, followed by a known and hated voice, “Oh look who we have here” still the same old smug on her face, “the little wolf. How exciting must be for you Tyrion to be reunited with your wife. Oh right, she is not your wife anymore. Even the ill-fated Sansa Stark refused to be married to a creature like you.” She was pleased with herself.

“We cannot be all like you, sweet sister, and _poison_ our spouse’s life,” said Tyrion, underlining the word poison,

Cersei scoffed, then looked at Pod, “Oh and who is your friend, Sansa? Wasn’t you my brother’ squire? Pod something…?”

Pod has always been scared by Cersei, “Y-Y-Yes, m-my Lady”

“It’s Ser Podrick Payne” said Sansa, “And you will refer to me as You Grace”

“Power has made you bold, _Your Grace_ ” she spat the last words. Then to Tyrion said “Where’s Jaime?”

“He is with Brienne, hasn’t left her since we reached the shipwreck site” said Tyrion, smiling,

“For the Gods’ sake, this is ridiculous! That cow cannot even die properly” spat Cersei, visibly annoyed by Jaime’s devotion to Brienne,

“Don’t you have a little decency? Lady Brienne saved your life?”  yelled Sansa to her,

“Oh, decency and respect are not in my sister’s vocabulary, I’m afraid” said Tyrion,

“He is a lion of Lannister, she is a cow, a very ugly one. He is already been laugh behind from bringing that creature around like a pet.”

“She may be ugly, but she is by far a better woman that you could ever even just hope to be. I feel sorry for you, Cersei, with your pettiness, your vanity you’ll never understand love. The Gods have make you beautiful to cover your rotten inside.” He spoke with a grave tone, he hated Cersei, the only reason he didn’t kill her is for not be a kinslayer again, and because he promised to Jaime.

Jaime had heard voices coming from the corridor, he opened the door to listen. He wondered if he was indeed so blind to not notice the true nature of his sister, of he was as bad as her.

He approached the group, “Brienne need calm and rest, go away this instant Cersei, you are not allow in or nearby Brienne’s room.” He spoke coldly,

“As is I ever want to see that dying cow” Cersei viciously said,

Jaime took her by the arm, holding it tightly and threw her out the corridor, “I said OUT!!!”, he then came back to Brienne’s room, leaving the door open to let Pod and Sansa in.

“How is she?” asked Sansa, touching Brienne’s hand,

“She is asleep….deeply asleep. She moves her eyelids and moan, like she is about to wake up, but then she just stand still. The maesters said that she must have hit her head violently, that she is lucky to be alive” his jaw clenched

“Why don’t you go and get some rest, I will be with her. You looked so tired”, Sansa was watching him closer, he looked like he is the one who is sick,

Jaime raised his eyes to her, a warm smile, “Thank you, but I don’t want to leave her, I want to be with her when she woke up. Of course you can stay here with me, and you too Pod, Brienne will be happy” he spoke slowly,

Then Pod took two chairs that were in the room and he and Sansa sit by Brienne’s bed, talking of old times.

After sometime Sansa at Pod indicated with her eyes to leave. Pod excuses himself saying he wanted to speak with Lord Tyrion and left Lady Sansa and Jaime alone.

 

At the beginning, when Jaime and Brienne found her, Sansa hated Jaime for being a Lannister, she called him Kingslayer and were afraid that he would bring her to Cersei. Then slowly he earned her trust, she saw the way he was with Brienne, he was always mocking her, but never with cruelty or with the purpose of offending her. One day he apologized to Sansa for all the bad things his family has done to hers, she saw in his eyes how sincere he was, and start considering him a friend. She start observing Jaime and Brienne, she had heard the tale of the Kingslayer’s whore, but knew Brienne’s virtue, and, like everybody else, she thought Jaime Lannister could never fell in love with an ugly woman, so different from Cersei, she was though convinced he cared for her, as a friend. But, one night, they were camping under the stars, not having found an inn, Sansa couldn’t sleep, was Jaime’s turn to guard, she opened her eyes and saw something that awoke the romantic girl in her, asleep from such a long time. In front of her she saw the imagine of love, Jaime was sit by the fire and Brienne was sleeping with her head on Jaime’s lap, he was looking at her, with such tenderness and love, while gently stroking her hair. She knew then, Jaime was in love with his wench, and he was by far a better man than anybody gave him credit to be. He was able to look behind the cover and see the beauty hidden inside. Brienne loved him too, she knew that, that’s why she was surprised to read of her wedding and wanted to see in person the man.

“How are you, Ser Jaime”, Sansa asked him, “I know how much you love her, she is strong, you know that better than everyone, she’ll recover, I’m sure, she had to…”

Jaime looked at her with grateful eyes, “I feel numb, like this is just a bad dream I cannot wake up from. Our last conversation was very unpleasant, to use an euphemism. I was so angry with her, she decided to leave and married without telling me anything. I felt so betrayed by her, and now I would bring her to the sept myself if it means she’ll live.”

“I was surprise too when she wrote me about her betrothal. I met Ser Hugh, he seems a good man, and seems really care for Lady Brienne. But you and her…” Sansa didn’t dared finished the sentence,

Jaime looked at her, his eyes told her to not go further, it was too much. Sansa understood, “I’ll go to Pod, I’ll come to see her again later”, she put gently a hand on Jaime’s shoulder, to give him courage, and then left.

“Alone again, wench. Your hair are a mess, well they are always a mess,” he took a brush and start brushing her hair, “Better” he said, smiling, “Come on Brienne, wake up, don’t you think you’ve rested enough.?” His face was so close to hers, he held her face in his hand, “Please wake up, I want to see those eyes open again, I’m lost without it. Open your eyes, Brienne, for me, please” his voice broken with tears.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brienne finally wake up plus fluffy flashbacks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for kudoing and commenting, well and of course for reading,
> 
> As usual I own nothing
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy it ;)

**Chapter 9**

 

He remembered their first and only kiss, and the moment he realized he loved her,

 

_“They were at the Wall, the war was coming to an end, the destiny of Westeros was going to be decide in that battle. Jaime and Brienne were sure to be about to die.  Jaime turned to Brienne, watching her carefully and tenderly, she smiled at him, he smiles back. Then he turned his whole body toward her, holding her face in his hand, stroking her scar, and slowly he leaned to kissed her. Brienne didn’t move at first, she was too shocked, then her hand went to his waist and the other behind his neck, he kissed her with such tenderness, like she was a precious thing. After few moments he brought his golden hand behind her head, bringing her closer, deepening the kiss, that it was now passionate, he didn’t want to let her go, he kissed her with such eagerness. That kiss was full of all the unsaid things between them, Jaime put all his love in it, and felt that she did the same, with her body, with her moans, she let him know that she loved him._

_It was the sweetest kiss Jaime has ever shared, for a moment they weren’t in that Gods forsaken frozen hell, he wasn’t the Kingslayer and she wasn’t the ugly girl, they were just Jaime and Brienne._

_Then the sound of the horn brought them back to reality, he slowly broke the kiss and looked her in the eyes, than he kissed her again, “for good luck, wench”, he said,….and the battle began.”_

_“Jaime realised he was in love with Brienne one morning when they were patrolling the east side of the Wall. He remembered the cold that day was unbearable, he was afraid that if he took a piss his cock would freeze and fall._

_To keep warm he start singing “The bear and the maiden fair”, Brienne hated that song,_

 

_“_ _A bear there was, a bear, a bear!_

_all black and brown, and covered with hair._

_The bear! The bear!_

_Oh come they said, oh come to the fair!”_

_“Come on Wench, sing with me, I’ll look like an idiot singing alone.” He said with  his mocking grin,_

_“Sure, because that is why you looked like an idiot, dream on”, said Brienne, sarcastically, “I will not sing that stupid song with you, I hate that song”, she did hate that song, whenever people knew who she was they start singing that bloody song to her,_

_“You wound me wench, this is our song, how could you hate our song??” Jaime said, pretending to be offended, then start singing again,_

_she sighed, “Oh Gods you are insufferable!” she yelled at him, playfully,_

_“If you don’t start sing with me I’ll sing the whole day, and you know I will”,_

_Brienne scoffed, she knew he would sing all day long just to hassle her, “Fine!”, she gave up and start to sing with him._

_When the song was over they start laughing like idiots. He loved see Brienne laugh, she has the more pure and honest laugh he has ever seen, her eyes sparks like stars when she laugh._

_And it was then that it hit him, he was a blind fool, how could he never notice before, he thought. He was freezing his ass off at the end of the of an ending world, he would probably be dead soon, but he was happy, happiest than he had ever been, because he was with Brienne, and she makes everything better, she give a sense to his life. Brienne was his first thought when he woke up and the last before go to sleep, he hated been separate from her, so he asked to patrol always with Brienne. When he was sad, tired, frustrated,  a look in her eyes was enough to make him feel better._

_The realization didn’t scared him, he had always knew deep in his heart, he was just too blind to notice._

_He was scared though, scared of not deserved her, scared that he might not reciprocate him, but most of all he was scared to lose her.”_

Jaime had fell asleep on the chair, his back was killing him, he woke up in pain to see Ser Hugh holding Brienne’s hand, it sent blood to Jaime’s head, “What the hell are you doing here?!” he yelled him,

Ser Hugh was taken aback, he recomposed immediately, “I’m visiting my betroth. I could ask the same to you, Ser, I’m certainly more entitled than you, being Brienne and I betrothed, still I never asked you to leave her side”,

That was true, Jaime thought, he came daily visiting Brienne, and never once he asked Jaime to leave them alone, neither did Lord Selwyn. He wanted to hate Ser Hugh, but he could see that he really loved Brienne, he was worried for her, he stroked gently her head, she was right, she had found a man worth of her and who cared for her. Jaime knew he had to let her go, she will be happy with Ser Hugh, but still it was killing him inside. “You are right, Ser, I’m sorry, I’m just tired”,

Ser Hugh smiled when saw Oathkeeper hang on Brienne’s wall, Jaime had asked the servants to put the sword in her room, in front of her bed, “Oathkeeper”, he said, observing the sword,

“How do you know it?”, Jaime asked, confused,

“Brienne showed it to me on Tarth, her eyes where sparkling even more when she wield Oathkeeper. I remember I told her that whoever gave her such a gift must think very highly of her. I know you gave it to her, Ser”, Ser Hugh’s eyes were witching Jaime, carefully,

“Yes, I gift her with it for a quest I’ve sent Brienne to.” He smiled sadly watching Brienne’s scarred cheek, “I shouldn’t sent her alone, no matter how precious and strong the sword was, I should have been with her,”

He regretted deeply not being with Brienne during the ordeal she has been through to restore his own honour,

“Brienne is a knight, she knows how to take care of her, you saved her many times since,”

Jaime nod, but he’ll feel always guilty. They stood there silently, both waiting for her to wake up.

 

Jaime heard a rasping breath he stood from his chair to see Brienne’s eyes open up and watching him, his light was finally back, “Brienne, thank the Gods”, he kissed both her hands, stroked her cheek, tears in his eyes,

 

Brienne was confused, he could see, but her eyes didn’t left his, she start talking, raspy voice, “Wa-water”,

“Of course” Jaime instantly took a cup and filled it with water, then he gently held her head up and gave her the water.

“What happened?” she asked, confusing memories about the ship accident,

“The ship you were on sank due to a violent storm, off shore Sharp Point. You fell from the ship, and hit your head, some fishermen took you from the water and brought you on the coast. It’s been seven days now.” He was still holding her hand, like he was afraid that she would go away again,

Brienne start to remember, the little girl, the storm, some men over her trying to help her, “Yes, I do remember, it was awful. Sarah, a little girl, is she safe?”, her face curl in a worried expression,

Jaime smiled, she was still his knight in a shiny armour, “She is, don’t worry, she came to see you before to leave with her mother,”

Brienne sighed with relief, “How do you know her, how do you know she came visit me?”,

“Tyrion and I with some men came to rescue you as soon as we heard about the shipwreck”,

“Oh, thank you” a warm smile enlighten her face, she then looked around, her eyes stopped at the sight in front of her, “Oathkeeper, why it’s here? I gave it to you.”

“Yes, but I thought, having Oathkeeper near you could have helped you, I know it’s stupid.” Said Jaime, with awkward,

Brienne smile again, even warmer than before, “It’s not stupid at all, Jaime”, she did remember the bad things they said, she remember that he refused to say goodbye, but now he was here, he was the first thing she saw, and all the rest didn’t matter anymore.

Jaime shook his head like he was waking up from a dream, “I’ll fetch the maester, “ and storm out the room coming back few minutes later with the maester, Tyrion, her father and Ser Hugh.

Lord Selwyn went immediately to his daughter, “Father!!” they hugged and he kissed her head, “Oh my Brienne, I was afraid to lose you too,” after a while Lord Selwyn let Brienne go, “Ser Hugh is here too, we went to Sharp Point,” he pointed Ser Hugh to come closer,

“Brienne, we were so worried” he said kissing her hand, Tyrion watched with the corner of his eyes Jaime’s reaction, but he was too happy Brienne was well.

“Ser Hugh, you shouldn’t went in so much trouble, thank you” she said bushing,

“You and I are betrothed, I couldn’t stay with my arms crossed.” He said, a quiet and sweet voice,

“My lady, you‘ve no idea how much you had us worried. I’m so happy to see you finally awake, even Lady Sansa and Pod are here,” Tyrion said, a sweet smile and sparkling eyes on his face,

“Thank you My lord, I’m so….” Her voice broke with cry, she was overwhelmed by the affection she was showed,

“Oh, don’t cry Brienne, why don’t we step out and let the maester visit her?” Tyrion said, and everyone left the room,  Jaime left for last, he and Brienne changed a knowing look.

 

After the maester said everything seemed fine, even though she would need at least a month of rest, she’ll have to be static for the first couple of weeks to help her ribs to heal. Jaime felt relief.

“You know Brienne” said Tyrion, “Jaime has never left your side since we have found you.”,

Brienne looked at Jaime, eyes full of gratitude and confused, he did looked very, very tired, she thought, “Thank you, Jaime, you shouldn’t have”, Jaime wanted to tell her that he couldn’t been kept away by a horde of white walkers, instead he put on his most arrogant face, the Lannister face, and said “Oh no I had to, you took care of me at the Wall, so now we are even. A Lannister always pays his debts, and I am a Lannister after all”, Tyrion looked at his brother like he went mad, Brienne’s eyes went sad, her only response was “Oh”, Jaime wasn’t able to look her in the eyes, “I’ll go now, I really need to rest and bath”, and left the room with a stone in his heart.

 

Tyrion followed him immediately, “Jaime stop! What was that? Are you out of your mind?”,  Jaime sighed, “I’ve only said the truth, Tyrion,” Tyrion frowned, “That’s a lie, who do you think to fool? Don’t tell me that you are still angry with her” , Jaime sighed, “I’m not angry, I’m relief, believe me, I’ll be better off when she’ll go to Tarth to marry Ser Hugh. Now would you please let me get some rest?” and he left. Walking from the corridor he met Sansa and Pod, they went for a ride, “So it’s true, she is finally awake? Is she all right?” Sansa eyes were happy and worried, “Yes, your grace, she is awake and well, you can go to see her. If you don’t mid I need some rest.”

“Off course Ser Jaime, you deserve it, I’m so happy she is ok” said Sansa sighting with relief.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tyrion find out the truth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual I won nothing
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy it ,)

**Chapter 10**

Jaime went to visit Brienne the next day, he entered the door without knocking to find the maester was  changing Brienne’s dressing, she immediately gasped and pull the blankets up her chest, blushing, “Oh wench, don’t be shy, it’s nothing I haven’t already see”,

“Plus my Lady, Ser Jaime has took care of you helping me changing the dressing, he has been very useful” the maester said, Brienne’s face flushed even more at the thought of Jaime seeing her like this,  “You’ve change my dressing, Jaime?” she was looking at him with those big blue eyes, she was still the shy maiden, but her eyes always gave away her thoughts, in that moment she was thanking him, with sparkling eyes and a warm smile. She hasn’t stop thinking about everything Tyrion and the others had told her of how Jaime had taken care of her and never left her side. She was starting questioning her own decision to marry.

Jaime knew Sansa and his brother must have told Brienne of his cares, he could see in her eyes, she was looking him with grateful eyes, asking herself if she should stay. He couldn’t allowed her that, he wouldn’t keep her here chained to a man unable to give her the life she deserve, not after saw how Ser Castle loved Brienne, he will make her happy, and that is all that matter to him.

“You did the same for me at the Wall, Brienne”, the maester has finished his work, “everything is fine, my Lady, the wound is healing well and there’s no sign of infection” and then left.

“So, wench, I’ve met your Ser Hugh, I see why you’ve chose him. He is basically your male version,” said Jaime, with a laugh that wasn’t his usual, his voice too was weird, seemed almost the voice of the Jaime she had met at Riverrun, “he is ugly as you are, though his eyes are of a very dull grey, I must say. I congratulate you for having found a husband taller than you, and possibly uglier than you, I couldn’t think that was even possible. Your children will be giants.” He laughed, “ _was he mocking her?”_ , Brienne asked herself.

“He is a good man and a valiant knight” Brienne voice was calm, even if she was unsettled by this strange conversation,  “Jaime about our last conversation” she wanted to clarify things between them,

“I should apologize for that, I was just being a spoiled child, you know how I am with my favourite toys.” said Jaime with mischief,

“Your favourite toy?? What are you saying Jaime?”

“I’m saying you were right, I was afraid to lose my loyal sidekick, I was used to have you around, following me anywhere. And let be honest, you are quite the sparring partner. But we have to move on, I’m happy for your wedding, he’ll make you happy, you are made for each other,” he said with a sad smile, “maybe I’ll come to the wedding, if  Her Grace will let me. Ah, and keep Oathkeeper, consider it as my wedding gift” , his voice flat, and he left without further words, leaving Brienne confused and hurt.

 

Jaime didn’t return to Brienne’s room in the week following her awakening, Tyrion watched his brother carefully, he was distant, always in bad mood, he kept himself busy with the City Watch, taking more shifts than ever. The strangest thing was that he never went to visit Brienne, he was avoiding her, but he had caught him asking the maester how she was. He was deliberately put distance between them, he was pushing her away.

He found his brother in the clearing where he used to spar with Brienne, now he had a tree as partner.

 

“Not sure if the tree is quite capable as Brienne, but you sure have found an equally tall opponent,” said Tyrion,

“Well I did the best I could, I’m quite used to the height, and the tree is perhaps of fairer look than the wench,” again the old sarcastically mean Jaime,

“I have just visited Brienne, she asked of you. It’s been a week now and you haven’t went to visit her. She is spending an awfully amount of time with her betroth, they seem very well suited.” Tyrion said,

“It’s a good thing since that they have the whole life to spend together.” Jaime said, his voice feigned indifference, but his blows revealed his jealousy, he hit the tree with more and more violence until his tourney sword was almost broken.

“Oh poor tree, you are killing him, you might find yourself again devoid of a sparring partner,”

Jaime stopped, he was breathing heavily, face flushed and sweat. Tyrion took the water bottle from the ground and passed it to Jaime, who drank greedily.

“That tree isn’t gonna be the same after this, dear brother. What are you doing, why haven’t go to see Brienne?” Tyrion asked,

“I spent a week watching Brienne, don’t you thing I’m tired of her now? The soon she’ll leave the better it’ll be” Jaime said while passing his hand up and down the tree,

“Said the man who has almost destroyed the armoury after she told him she was leaving.”

“I was been stupid, I have had lot of time to think, we have to move on in our life, the sooner we’ll do it the better will be,” Jaime said, and Tyrion looked at him with a weird expression,

“That’s a load of crap, Jaime, and you know it. Tell me why all of a sudden you want her to leave?”, Tyrion was annoyed, he couldn’t understand his brother anymore,

“Because I was just being a spoiled child, you know how possessive I can be. Now I understand we have to make our own life, we had already shared too much. She’ll be the Lady Of Tarth and I……I will find my own way.” Jaime said, trying to mask his own sadness,

“You are possessive only when you love, I saw you with her, that’s love, you’re hiding something from me, and I will find out”

“This is none of your fucking business Tyrion,” said Jaime, resolute

“You are my brother, I…care for you, and your happiness is my business. You have finally found a woman who deserves your love, who understands your value, who had known you at your worst and at your best, who had never left your side, no matter how they called her. Are you willing to let this go? Let her go? Tell her you love her, she is convinced that you could never love her, make her understand that she already has your love, marry her!” Tyrion’s tone went louder, he couldn’t see his brother waste such thing, not after watching him being toyed by Cersei for all his life

“I CAN’T, I CAN’T, I CAN’T!!!!!”  Jaime yelled at his brother, tired and angry, he knew all the things Tyrion had said were true but he just couldn’t, he just couldn’t, and it was breaking him.

Tyrion was startled, his eyes went wide, “What does it mean you can’t?? Why?”, Tyrion was incredulous,

“Why don’t you asked your fucking mother of dragons, and now leave me the fuck alone.” and he walked away, while Tyrion was starting to understand his brother’s behaviour.

 

Daenerys was at her desk, working on some papers, a guard knocked on the door and announced that the Lord Hand had ask to speak to the Queen, “Of course, let him in”, Tyrion walk in the room, bowed his head to greet her, “What can I do for you, Tyrion”, he sit on a chair in front of the desk,

“Your Grace I need to ask you an important question and I want you to be sincere.”

“I will do my best” Daenerys said, raising both her eyebrows,

“Why my brother cannot marry Lady Brienne? Have you something to do with this?” Tyrion was scrutinizing her reaction, she was surprised, then she smiled a little,

“What do make you believe that I have something to do with it?” the Queen narrowed her eyes,

 

“Jaime had told me he can’t marry Brienne, and the only one with the authority to forbid him that is you, _You Grace,”_

Daenerys sighed and rest her back on the chair, she was quiet for some time, “You are right, I forbid the Kingslayer to marry and sire children, and also he cannot leave King’s Landing.” She spoke with calm,

Tyrion’s face frowned, “Why??” in his voice there was surprise mixed with anger,

“Why? Your brother, the _Kingslayer,_ along with your father, had took everything from me, my parents, my siblings, my life and my realm. You seriously thought that I would just stripped him of his titles and lands. On the Wall I understood the nature of his relationship with Lady Brienne, as I told him, I know love when I see it, so I took it from him.”

Tyrion laughed, bitterly, “Your father, _the Mad King_ , was a vicious, cruel and crazy man, who raped your mother constantly, what do you thing he would have done to you when you would come to an age??  Jaime had killed him saving the whole city, he did what had to be done. Your father took away everything to you, and my father else well, but not Jaime. You said that you’ve known love, but I don’t think you really did, otherwise you wouldn’t separate two people who love each other as Jaime and Brienne do. He had paid for his sins and his faults, and Brienne had nothing to do with it. You indeed are your father’s daughter.”

Daenerys’ eye widened to that, but she didn’t speak a word.

Tyrion raised from the chair and left.

 

He went directly to Jaime’s room, enter it without knock, “Does the Hand of the Queen lost his good manners?”, said Jaime,

“I spoke to her, I know why you can’t marry her, I’m sorry, but why haven’t told her?”, Tyrion went near his brother, who was by the window,

“I can’t burden her with my sins any longer, I’ve already sullied her too much, she has been called a whore for my fault, and she is the most honourable woman I know. No, if she knew this, she would never leave me, I cannot trap her here. She  has found a man worth of her, he’ll make her happy,” his voice broken, “I will tell her, once she is married and settled on Tarth, I will tell her I love her, she deserves to know how much I love her, I own her that at least,” he kept staring out of the window,

“You are a good man Jaime, I will try to make the queen change her mind” Tyrion tried to give him hope,

“No, she won’t, she has even threat Brienne with high treason for when she tried to help me escape, she is quite determined to make me paid for Aerys. At the end of all, it always come back to Aerys,” Jaime laughed bitterly. Tyrion sighed not knowing what to tell him.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourself fluffiness and smut are coming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There I post this right after finished it, I owe you some fluffy and smutty stuff ;)  
> Hope you'll enjoy it

**Chapter 11**

More than two weeks had passed since she woke up, Brienne was feeling much better, she was still moving slowly and with a cane, due to her broken ribs and the wound to her stomach, but she really needed to go to the train yard, she needed to hear the clash of steel, the mixed smell of metal, sweat and dust. She also needed to be alone. Jaime hadn’t visit her once, she spent time with Lady Sansa, who kept talking about wedding gowns, driving her crazy, and also with Ser Hugh and her father. She was happy to spent time with her father, and she was comfortable with her betroth, but, when the previous day he had kissed her, she didn’t feel anything, it was awkward and weird. Nothing compared to her kiss with Jaime, that time she felt drunk, her head was dizzy, she felt love, passion and desire.

She couldn’t still standing for too much time, so she went to sit on a bench at the perimeter of the training yard, where she saw Jaime, who was also there. They looked at each other awkwardly,

“Good morning wench, I see you are quite well, I’m happy for you”, Jaime spoke first, trying to look distant and uncaring,

“Yes, I’m feeling much better, thank you Ser,” she was distant too,

“Where is the lucky husband to be? Don’t tell me he flew away?”,

“No, he must be with my Father, I wanted to take some air, I miss the yard…”, she was watching two young squires sparring,

“Yes, there’s nothing like the clash of steel, right?” they looked at each other smiling with understanding, that was their life, that was the thing they loved the most,

Jaime’s attention too went on the lads sparring, one of them has thrown the other to the ground, and was yelling yield to the other boy, who yield, “Too bad, the other boy was good, but he have to work on his legs work,” Brienne said,

“Yes, his legs work give away his moves, it reminds me of that poor lad on the Wall, do you remember him? What was his name, L something,” Jaime get closer to her on the bench,

“Lionel. Gods he was slow with his legs, he tripped on his own feet, and went down in the snow” they start laughing,

“Yes and broke his nose, on the first day”, Jaime said, between the laughs, they were both laughing carefree,  like they always used to be, “he was an idiot, but a brave one”, Jaime said, becoming serious and sad, Brienne smiled sadly, “Yes, he was,” the poor boy had died bravely on the Wall, like too many young men had. Brienne’s sapphires was  boring in his emerald eyes, they stood there, staring in each other eyes,

until Jaime got up suddenly, “I have to go, I will probably see you before you leave”,

“I know” yelled at him Brienne while he was walking away, making Jaime turn back to her with a worried and puzzled expression, “What are you talking about?”, he asked her

“I know of you and Cersei….I know you are, well, back together,” she spoke looking down on the ground,

Jaime was confused, “I saw her leaving your room half naked, the night I wanted to spoke to you, I came to your room and I saw her, and she told me you two had come back to the old habits”,

Jaime’s eyes widened in understanding, that’s why she was so mad, hurt and angry, that’s why she decided to marry, how stupid of him, his sister had always being good in manipulate the situation to her favour.

“Yes, we are back together,” Jaime lied for her sake, it was the thing that would push her away from him for good,

“How could you?”, Brienne’s anger show through her voice,

“This is not of your concern, it’s my life.” Jaime couldn’t watch her in the eyes,

“You were a puppet in her hands, she made you forsake who you are, she is mean and spiteful”

“Yes, but I’ll always love her, I never stopped”, he saw the pain in Brienne’s face,

“I know, I’ve always known,” resignation in her eyes, “but I had hoped you would do the right thing, that you would find a woman worth of the man you are now, sometimes the one we love are not the one worth our love”, Jaime’s heart tightened in his chest, was she referring to him, he asked himself.

Brienne was now standing right in front of him, “Please Jaime do not allow her to change you, do not let that your love for her obscure your honour, please, it would be a tragedy,” her voice broken, Brienne walked beyond him, they were now back to back, Jaime turn the head over his right shoulder, watching her, “I’ll leave in a couple of weeks, good bye” and she left. He would deal with Cersei after her leaving, she went too far this time.

So it was true, Brienne thought, he went back to her. He took care of me just to repay me, nothing more, how silly of me to think otherwise.

 

Almost a week had passed, Brienne was healing fast, she was now able to walk without a cane, even though her ribs still hurt if she moved too fast. She opens her room’s door to find Tyrion is there,

“Tyrion, were you looking for me?” she asked, not surprise by his presence, the Lannisters often invite themselves in other people’s room,

“Sorry for the intrusion, but we have to talk, it’s important”, Tyrion revealed Brienne of the real Queen’s conditions for Jaime’s life. She widened her eyes more and more during the tale,

“Brienne, Jaime love you more than anyone can imagine, he would have married you a long time ago. He forbids me to tell you the truth but I cannot stand to watch my two favourite people in the world suffer, call me sentimental”,

Brienne was in a whirlwind of emotions, from anger to happiness and then anger again. How could the Queen do such thing?? Brienne stood up abruptly, “I have to find Jaime now, I must speak to him,”,

Tyrion smiled, he would deal with the Queen, “Lately at this hour you can find him at the clearing, he is spending an awful amount of time there,” Brienne smiled, how happy they had been there. She storms out the room directed to the stable, she took a horse and slowly, helped by a stable boy, she mounted him.

She reached the clearing, Jaime was there taking on a poor, innocent tree, she dismount from the horse, the movement caused her pain. ”Jaime”, she called him, Jaime turn, surprised to see Brienne, “What are you doing here, and why the hell have you ride??”,

She walked to him, “Tyrion told me, why haven’t you told me of the real conditions for your release?” she was staring at him,

“I didn’t want to burden you more than I’ve already done,” he said, honestly,

she took a deep breath, “He has also told me that you…” she stopped, afraid of his answer, “…that you love me. Is true Jaime?” Brienne’s sapphires was shining like stars,

“What difference does it make now?” Jaime said to her, he didn’t know what to do,

“It does for me, please Jaime, tell me the truth, I’m going mad. You kissed me on the Wall, I thought back then you did it because we were going to die, but I felt you cared for me. Then you almost die, and when you wake up you never mention it again. You asked me to stay with you here, and I did, even if I have duty. When you heard of my betrothal you acted like a mad fool, then you come to rescue me and took care of me, never leaving my side, or at least it’s that what the others told me. I woke up and you are there, and I was so happy you were the first thing I saw, then you do not visit me, you congratulate for my wedding and treat me as you would put me on the ship yourself to make me go away. I’m at lost here Jaime, you have to help me.”

She unload herself, she needed some clarity from him. “Do you have any idea of how I felt when I saw Cersei leaving your room? When she, not so covertly, allude to what you have been doing. I felt so humiliated, angry, disappointed, that’s why I decided to leave immediately. That night I wanted to talk about Ser Hugh’s proposal, I wanted to ask for your advice, but you were otherwise occupied.”

Jaime could only imagine how Cersei’s word must have hurt Brienne.  But he was still silent,

“You have nothing to say? So I guess Tyrion was wrong, of course, you and me would just looked ridiculous together, with or without the Queen’s conditions”, she made to leave when Jaime said “I do love you, Brienne,” she stopped, he reached her, “I love you so much and from so much time, it’s killing me not could have you. You are the best part of me, I love you, I love you,” he was holding her face in his hand, his forehead rest on hers, their nose brushing, “You are the reason I fight, the reason I live,” he kissed her then, with such passion, she kissed him back, opening her lips to him, he devour her, taste her, oh Gods she felt good, he was alive finally.

They broke the kiss, both catching air, “How could you love someone like me?” Brienne asked him, still incredulous of how a handsome man like Jaime could love someone as ugly as her, “how could not love you Brienne? You gave myself back, my life back, you made me feel proud of myself. I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, wench, you are beautiful to me. Even if I know you are ugly, I see you as my warrior maiden, my wench. Your scars show me how strong you are, your mouth has been made to be kissed by me, your body fits with me perfectly, your legs, oh wench, I could die on those legs. And your eyes are the beacon that always brought me back home.”

Brienne was crying, he kissed a falling tears on her cheek, then kissed her lips again, this time more gently.

“I love you too Jaime, so much” she said between kisses. They kissed for some time, couldn’t keep their hands off each other, then Brienne stopped him, “Jaime stop. Cersei?”, Jaime was kissing her long neck, he stared at her knowing what she was asking, “I never went back to Cersei. She came to my room to seduce me, but I sent her away, I couldn’t, green is not my colour anymore, blue suits me far better.” This time she kissed him so fiercely.

Brienne was in Jaime’s arms on the ground, hours had passed, but they couldn’t care less. “What are we going to do Jaime?” she asked him, “I want you to be happy Brienne, that’s why I was being an asshole lately, I wanted you to despise me and be happy with Ser Hugh, he does love you,” Jaime said kissing her hair, “I know he does, but is you who makes me happy”, she said watching him with the bluest eyes he has ever seen, he could have drowned in those eyes, “You have no idea of how much happy I could make you,” said Jaime with mischief, Brienne hit him on the arm.

“I know you, wench, you wouldn’t be completely happy knowing you let you father and your duty down. I will respect every decision you’ll make, and I will never stop to love you.” He kissed her again.

“Give me some time to think”, Jaime smiled, “You have all the time you need, I’d wait for one hundred years for you”. They were kissing, catching up for all the years they had lost, when they heard a horse, immediately stood up, trying to compose themselves as best as they could. They were relieved to see it was Tyrion, ”Brienne, is your father, he has high fever, the maester is visiting him”, Brienne’s face darkened, Jaime took her by the hand, “You’ll ride with me, I’ll go faster, you can’t ride well yet,” she nod and he helped her mount, she rest her head on his back, praying the Gods for his father.

 

Brienne stayed beside Lord Selwyn for three days, she took care of him, Jaime stayed with her helping her, Ser Hugh too was often with her, he was fond of Lord Selwyn.

Brienne couldn’t stop thinking about her and Jaime, she didn’t know what to do, in a way or another she will have to disappoint and hurt the two most important people in her life. Watching her father suffer, red in face, looking older than she has ever seen him, she felt guilty. Her father had accepted her will to become a knight, he had allowed her to follow Renly, she had a duty to her homeland and to her father. But how could she leave Jaime now that she finally knows he love her, she was so torn.

 

Ser Hugh crossed Jaime in the corridor, “Ser Jaime could I have a word with you?”, he asked Jaime,

Jaime was a little bit surprise but nod in agreement, “I have watched you and Brienne together, you love her deeply. I knew Brienne was in love with someone back in Tarth, but after heard nothing, I proposed again, and when she accepts I thought she must have moved on from whoever she loved. Then I see you taking care of her, love was all over your face, I felt sorry for you, because I thought she didn’t love you back. But then I saw the way she looks at you, and I knew it was you that she loves. I saw you two together, you are made for each other, I don’t know the reason why Brienne accepted me, and neither I know why you haven’t marry her, but I’m willing to step aside. Now it’s up to you, Ser,” and he went on his way, leaving Jaime astonished.

 

“Brienne…Brienne”, her father was calling her, finally his fever broke and he was much better, even if still weak, “I’m here father, how are you?” Brienne took his hand, “I feel tired, so tired, I want to go back on Tarth, I want to see my isle before to die,”

A tear fell on Brienne’s cheek “you are not going to die Father, it was just a fever”,

“We must go to Tarth, it need a ruler, or else…”, Brienne nod in understanding, she knew now what she had to do, no matter how hard it’ll be, but there was something she could do, there was something that only her could decide.

 

Brienne entered Jaime’s room, without knocking, Jaime jumped on his feet when he saw her, “Brienne was happened? Is your father worst?”

“No, his fever broke, he is better, but he is old, Jaime, I cannot….” she chocked on her words, “I have to go to Tarth, do my duty, please, you have no idea how much this decision is killing me, but I have to,” she was crying, Jaime went to her and hugged her, drying her cheeks with his hand, he kissed her head, “I know, I know, I don’t blame you. You honour is one of the reason I love you so much”, Jaime was trying to be strong for her, but he was dying inside.

Brienne looked him in the eyes, “There is something I want you to have, something that is only mine to give”, she breathed deeply, she was never bold in this things, “I want give myself to you, Jaime. I want you to be my first….”, Jaime was watching her incredulous, with eyes full of admiration and love, “You don’t have to, Brienne, I don’t want you to regret this, I don’t want to dishonor you, I respect you too much”.

Brienne frowned, “Don’t you want me?” she asked, afraid of his rejection, Jaime kissed her hard, “I desire you so much Brienne, that it aches, but I know how you value your virtue”, she caressed his cheek, “Is not a dishonor to me, Jaime, I want you, I love you, I don’t care about an empty vow in a sept, I care about what we have, now. I came to you willingly, this is my gift to you, to us, it’s the only thing I can do”, she kissed him this time, he broke the kiss, “Are you sure?”, he asked worried, she then unlaced her tunic and stood in just her smallclothes before him, “Oh Gods, Brienne”, he took her in his arms, kissed her, harder than before, his cock ached against the fabric, he lead Brienne to the bed, and carefully lay her on it, then he took off his own clothes, she was so red in the face. He drank the sight of his wench naked on his bed, ready for him.

He went on the bed and start kissing her, “Don’t worry, my love, I will be carefully, I don’t want to hurt you”, Brienne brushed his hair, “I trust you, Jaime, I know you will not hurt me”, he smiled happily and kissed her, then he slowly drove his lips on her long neck, then her shoulders, her breast, he sucked on her nipple, “Jaime” she moaned, he sucked the other nipple, then he moved on her belly and keep going down, he kissed her long, long legs, “wench your legs could drive a man insane”, said, going up through her other leg, until he reached her most sensitive spot. Brienne was flushed, “Jaime what are you doing?”, “trust me, you are going to love the way my mouth there will make you feel”, and he winked at her. He start giving small kisses on Brienne’s cunt, she was so wet already, he start sucking and kissing her, a fire was building up inside her, “Oh my…Oh Gods…Yes”, he put a finger inside her, she moaned even more, then a second finger, keeping sucking and kissing. Brienne felt like she was about to explode, she was breathing faster, her heart beating like a drum, then she broke “Oh JAIME” she shout so loudly, Jaime start laughing, while she was trembling behind him, her head was dizzy, her legs weak. Then she brought him up to her and kissed him so hard, “and the best is yet to come, wench”, he kissed her more tenderly, positioning himself at her entrance and slowly start to thrust into her, she felt a little pain, then not at all, as she pull Jaime toward her harder, they found their rhythm, she was starting to come again, he was coming to, he kept watching her in the eyes, he wanted to enjoy every moment, they came together, “Brienne”, “Jaime”, he collapsed on her, both sweat and panting, and more happy that they had ever been. He kissed her forehead, “you are amazing, you know that, Brienne”,  said kissing her again, “thank you” his voice so sweet, she hugged him, and they stayed in each other arms and fell asleep together, happy and satisfied.

 

Jaime woke up in Brienne’s arms, it was still night, he looked at her, she was so peaceful and beautiful, he kissed her bare shoulder and rest his chin on it, she looked so happy, it took his breath away.

He was trying not to think of what will come after, just enjoying the moment. Brienne woke up too, she smiled seeing Jaime there, it wasn’t just a dream, he kissed her, she kissed him back, she pushed him on his back, the thought of lose him has made her bold, she straddled him, kissing his neck, imitating his moves of before. She kissed slowly his chest, then his stomach, her eyes looking him, enjoying that new power, she went up and kissed his earlobe, which caused him to moan, “Brienne…” he whispered, she kept sucking his earlobe, he was caressing her side, she brought an hand on his cock, shyly, trying to imitate the soldiers in Renly’s camp, he smiled, kissed her and placed his hand on hers, helping her to pleasure him. It didn’t take long before she was perfectly capable to do it by herself, she was good at that as she was with the sword. Jaime stopped her, he wanted to be inside her, she understood and awkwardly she positioned herself on his cock, guiding it in her, slowly, so slowly it was killing Jaime. Her breath fastened as she was thrusting faster and harder, Jaime raise his back and kissed her, their bodies attached , their rhythm frantic, she came, with his name on her lips, he came a moment after, looking her in the eyes, while she was still peaking, they collapsed on the bed, panting. “Gods, you are getting good at this, wench”, said Jaime, Brienne laughed, he kissed her, “do you have any idea how much I love you’”, he said, she just kissed him and said, ”I love you more”. They fell asleep again, to be woken by the sound of the bells, something had happened in the Keep.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For whom the bell tolls

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I apologize for my lateness, I've just started a new job so I've been busy. Thank you again for reading, commenting and kudoing.
> 
> A huge special thanks to stayseated who has been so kind to become my beta :)
> 
> As usual I own nothing
> 
> I hope you will enjoy it ;)

Jaime and Brienne dressed immediately and ran  through the corridor. O nce they were out in the corridor where Jaime’s room was, they saw Mya, the maid, crying. Other servants were gathering.

 “She is dead. M’lady is dead, in her bed, ” she screamed, still shocked.

Mya had entered Cersei’s room because she had forgotten to mend the dress Cersei wanted to wear the next day. When she was about to leave, she noticed that next Cersei’s bed, on the floor, there was blood so she went closer and saw the lifeless body of her lady, green eyes frozen in a terrified expression. She had  been stabbed right in the heart.

Jaime’s face was motionless and white as a sheet during the tale. Brienne instinctively squeezed his hand. She hated Cersei,  but she was Jaime’s sister and the woman he had loved very much. Brienne saw the pain in his eyes, and felt it like it was her own.

Tyrion arrived too.

 “Cersei is dead.” Brienne told him Mya’s story. Tyrion face was inscrutable. He looked at Jaime, who looked back. All the things they wanted to say to each other were in the look.

Tyrion felt weird. He didn’t love Cersei. De actually hated her. De thought he would feel relief from her passing. Instead, he felt nothing. He was sorry for Jaime, but not for her.

 He said that to himself, but felt a pang in his chest. She was a very bad person, but she was his sister.

The Queen and maester Cyrus also came. Daenerys was sorry for Cersei. She let Tyrion and Jaime enter the room first.

Jaime turned to Brienne and took her by the hand. “Come with me, please,” he said with pleading eyes. She smiled sadly. “I wouldn’t leave you alone.”

Jaime and Brienne walked in first, then Tyrion followed them. A tear crossed Jaime’s cheek at the sight of his sister, now a corpse, pale, immobile. He touched her. She was so cold. He closed her eyes carefully. Brienne never left his side.

Tyrion leaned on the floor and took a piece of paper. “Winter is coming.”

Both Jaime and Brienne raised their heads and looked at him.

He showed them the note. “It seems our little wolf became quite good at killing people.”

Jaime’s eyes were wide. “Arya Stark.” Brienne frowned at the name. They had come to know Arya was in Braavos. They had even herd she was training to become a faceless killer. Brienne’s blood chilled at the thought of Lady Catelyn’s daughter and Sansa’s sister as a ruthless killer.  “I’m sorry for you loss Lord Tyrion, and for you also…Jaime,” the Queen said.  It was the first time she called him by his name.

“Your Grace, we know who the killer is. She left a note.” Tyrion gave the note to Daenerys.

“Winter is coming? It’s House Starks’ motto. Could it have been Sansa, surely?” the Queen asked.

“Not Sansa. Her sister, Arya Stark,” Tyrion said.

“Sansa must be informed of this,” Brienne said. She was worried for the Queen in the North.

“Of course, I will send a raven to her immediately.”

“Your Grace, what should we tell to the court? They know she has been killed, for the good of the Starks I suggest you to say it was a thief, or one of the Gold Cloaks,” Tyrion said.

Daenerys knew he was right. The realm was getting on its feet after years of war. They couldn’t open a crisis with the North.

“We’ll say it was a thief,” she said. Her eyes capture Jaime and Brienne’s hands, which were intertwined. Jaime was staring at Cersei like he was staring on the deepest abyss.

Brienne gently caressed his cheek and made him turn to watch her. “I’m here,” she said to him, sweet and caring.

“Thank you,” he said. And she kissed his forehead, not caring who was watching. Daenerys was touched by the scene before her eyes.

 

The news of Cersei’s murder spread fast. No one was really sorry for her, but everyone was good at faking grieve. Cersei was in the sept, Jaime besides her with Brienne.

Tyrion was also there. “I’m sorry for you, Jaime,” he said to his brother.

“I know,” was all Jaime said. He knew how much Cersei’s hate had hurt Tyrion. It was one of the things Jaime had always hated of her. But deep down, Tyrion was sad, even if Cersei wasn’t a good person, even if she had hated him and blamed him for their mother’s death. She was still his sister, and her death pained him, being hated by half of his family also pained him, more that it would show.

Brienne was worried for Jaime. She understood his pain, even if she thought their relationship was wrong. She knew how much he had loved Cersei, how much he had sacrificed for her. But a part of Brienne was worried that this would bring him away from her, that he would maybe feel guilty.

After Cersei had been buried, Jaime went to his room. He wanted to be alone. He lay on the bed, where he swore there still was Brienne’s smell. He breathed that scent, thinking to that night, the happiest of his life.

Cersei had been his twin sister, his other half, his lover, but Brienne was his soulmate. He had found in her a valiant knight and a woman worthy of the title. He was grieving Cersei, not as his former lover, but as his sister. He had always thought that Cersei’s death would have been his own also, but it wasn’t. He was sad, but not desperate. He didn’t feel empty.

 

Jaime had fallen asleep. He was awoken by a knock on the door. He got up, still dazed from the sleep, and went to open the door.

He found Lord Selwyn, who was completely healed. “I’m sorry to bother you, Ser Jaime. May I come in?”

Jaime was surprised. “Lord Selwyn of course, please come in.”

The Evenstar walked into the room. Jaime was nervous. “Ser Jaime, I decided to leave in a week time. I have important matters to take care of. Coming along with me will be, of course, my Brienne.”

Jaime’s blood froze. He would be separated from Brienne again. With all the aftermath of Cersei’s death they hadn’t had time to talk about their departure. Jaime swallowed hard. “I see. I’m sorry to see you leave, but I understand your duties.” He tried to keep his voice normal, but Lord Selwyn wasn’t one to be fooled.

“I know your feelings for my daughter, and I know she loves you back. I’m not blind. When she came to Tarth, she talked a lot about you, and never once did she called you Kingslayer. Back then I thought it was another one of Brienne’s infatuation for men who have shown her just a little bit of respect. That’s why I wanted her to get married as soon as possible, for I knew a man like you would never love her. I was so happy when she accepted Ser Hugh’s proposal. Then, that shipwreck had always cost me the last shred of family I have left. When I saw you in her tent, I knew. It was written all over your face. You love her, and very much, too. That’s why I’m here. If you wish, if Brienne will have you, you can marry her. Ser Hugh will understand. I just want my daughter’s happiness. No duty is more important than that.” 

Jaime was speechless. He couldn’t believe his ears. “Lord Selwyn, believe me, if I could have married Brienne, I would had a long time ago. I want her happiness more than I want the air in my lungs. I cannot give her a family. I cannot marry her, or give her children. If I still were the selfish man I once was, I would have stolen her away, not caring about her reputation, about her duties. But I am not that man anymore. I would not chain her to me here, no matter how much I want it,”  Jaime looked the old man in the eyes. They were so similar to Brienne’s.

“Why you can’t married, Ser?” asked Lord Selwyn, half-curious, half-worried,

“Let’s just say that no good deed goes unpunished,” was all Jaime said, with a sad smile. And Lord Selwyn understood and knew what to do.

They remained silent for few moments. “I will leave you, now Ser. Oh, and again, I’m sorry for your loss. I know how close you were to your sister.” And he left. He knew with whom  he had to talk to.

 

Brienne was pacing back and forth in her room. She wanted to give Jaime some space, but now that she knew they will leave in a week, she was desperate to see him, to kiss him, to be in his arms for one last time.

It was night. She had failed to fall asleep for most of the night, and when she was finally dozing off, she heard someone opening her door. She immediately put her hand under the pillow, where she kept a dagger. She slightly opened her eyes and saw it was Jaime.

She immediately got up. “Jaime!”  He went to her, cradled her face in his hand and kissed her. It was like breathing again after being under water for too much time. The kiss was tender and passionate. Brienne melted in his arms. After he broke the kiss, they stayed hugging for some moments, without moving or talking.

Jaime spoke first. “Your Father came to speak to me. He told me you’ll leaving in a week.” His was voice sad and resigned.

Brienne’s eyes became sad. “I…yes. My father is well now. He cannot stay any longer. You know I have.… ” She was beyond despair. The moment was near. If she didn’t have her duty, she would have left with Jaime for the free cities, not caring about the queen or Tarth, just caring about each other’s happiness.

He knew her well, knew how to read every wriggle and expression of her face, every shade of blue of her eyes. She was struggling. He could see that, but he also knew that she would never forgive herself if she had follow her heart instead of her duty.  Brienne wanted to take a last chance with the Queen, but hadn’t told anything to Jaime, she didn’t want to give him false hopes.

They kissed again. He pushed her on the bed. She starting to unlace his tunic. She wanted him as much as he wanted her. He started undressing her, kissing every inch of skin. He tasted her, enjoying her scent. She smelled of metal and meadow . It was intoxicating. She became bolder, touching him and tasting him in return. She liked having that kind of power over him. It was a different kind of battle, but she was a knight and a woman.

They came both loudly, but they couldn’t care less. If this was their last moment together, they wanted to enjoy it as much as they could.

They lay in bed, Brienne’s head on Jaime’s chest, both sweat and happy. Jaime was caressing and kissing her hair. She kissed his chest, tenderly.

“When did you realized that you loved me?” Brienne boldly asked Jaime, as she was still incredulous of his feelings for her.

“When I knew that I’d rather spent the rest of my life freezing on the top of the world with you, than be in heaven without you. When I think about the years of the war, I’m happy, because despite the death and horror around us, I was with you, always. I knew then, that I had loved you for so much time without even knowing it, because you were there. You were a part of me. You are a part of me. I would have married you in the Godswood back then, but I knew I don’t have much time to live. I didn’t want for you to be the Kingslayer’s widow.”

He kissed her again, smiling at her. “And you? When did the honorable Maid, well, not so much a maid anymore, of Tarth, realize that she was in love with the infamous Kingslayer?” Jaime asked her, with mirth.

“It was gradual. After Harrenhal, I saw you with different eyes. I saw the real man behind the Kingslayer’s mask. No one but a true knight would come back to rescue an ugly maiden from certain death. Then I start dreaming of you. Then after Lady Stoneheart and rescuing Lady Sansa, I was destroyed and you helped me put myself back together. When you had to come back to King’s Landing, I didn’t want to let you go. If you hadn’t decided to come with me to the Wall, I would have come with you, because no matter how hopeless my love was, I wanted to be beside you .” They looked into each other’s eyes, blue and green sparkling. He kissed her forehead, and they fell asleep together until the sun was up in the sky.


End file.
